I feel his breath catch as his gaze meets mine. He tips his head forward, our foreheads touching, breathing in sync for a moment. “I love you, Carter.”
We’re equals in this moment, not the boy and his Master, not the toy and his Owner, but two men, two friends, two lovers—
Two husbands.
Susa joins us. “We having a moment, boys?”
He doesn’t release me, but he kisses her. “Love you, Suse.”
Her playful smile as she studies his face tells me she’s already accurately read Owen and his mood and she rises up on her toes to kiss him again. “Love you, too, Owen.” Then her blue gaze falls on me. “Love you, Carter.” But from the way the outer edges of her eyes narrow slightly, I know exactly how she means it. To her, I’ll always be Sir and Master, even in “equals” mode. Just like Owen will always be boy to her.
“Love you, Suse. Let’s go get some sleep.”
We check on the boys, and of course they’re sound asleep. It’s after midnight once all three of us are snuggled in our bed. My pets put me in the middle once again, and as I hear first Susa, and then Owen drift to sleep on either side of me, I close my eyes and…
Breathe.
I would lay down my life without hesitation—and already have—to protect my family.
I have killed to protect them.
There is an aching vulnerability in my soul for my pets and my children that will always be able to take me out at the knees.
But there are memories, and a deeply hidden part of my soul, that will never let me forget the one promise I didn’t keep.
The one I left behind.
The one who, had I not left him behind, I would not now be surrounded by the miracles which bless my life and heart.
And we’re about to have another baby to compound the miracle.
Yes, of course I tell my pets it doesn’t matter to me what we have, as long as they’re healthy.
But deep inside, I want a little girl. I want her to have Owen’s eyes and her mother’s smile.
I want Owen and I to have to learn how to braid hair and make perfect pigtails. I want to have tea parties and unicorns. I want Girl Scouts and cheerleading and figure skating and standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Owen every time she brings a boy home to meet us and putting terror in the guy’s heart should he fuck up or fuck with our little girl.
I want Owen and I to walk her down the aisle.
Because likehellwill I stand for her getting married in Vegas at an Elvis wedding chapel.
I love our boys, but I came from a family of brothers, and I’m reaching the point in my life where I want to settle back, relax, and enjoy living.
I’ve done my job for my pets. Susa’s made her dream come true. Owen’s dreams have come true.
Now?
Life is for living. Owen and I can give Susa the spotlight she so rightfully deserves and support her efforts from the wings while we raise our children.
I lie on my side, spooned around Susa, with my arm draped over her and my hand flat against her stomach.
Please be a girl.
Behind me, Owen’s spooned his taller body against mine, and I feel his breath softly brushing the nape of my neck, his arm around me and tucked between me and Susa.
He’s made my dreams come true, too. Both of them have. There were a lot of reasons for me not to have my vasectomy reversed, including stirring up memories and nightmares I didn’t want to revisit, and the most important reason of all—
Owen is my perfect boy. He’s more than good enough, for both myself and Susa. Everything he endured at his mother’s hands means it’s an extra special blessing that he’s able to be as sweet, and loving, as trusting as he is.
