I never thought I’d ever be here.
I’m just drifting off to sleep when I hear a noise downstairs that startles me awake. I’m not sure what it is, at first, until I hear a solid thunk followed by Jester’s happy maows and a few more noises, like things are hitting the kitchen floor.
Dang it.
I ease myself out of bed, trying not to disturb Tom, but he stirs. “What?”
“Nothing, babe.” I kiss him. “Go back to sleep. I don’t think I got the pantry door closed and Jester’s hunting peanut butter.”
He grunts something but is softly snoring again before I can even straighten. I doubt he’ll even remember in the morning.
Sure enough, I find Jester happily chasing the jar of peanut butter around the kitchen floor. I let him have it while I replace the other things he knocked out of the pantry. Then I take the jar away from him and put it in the pantry, firmly closing the door this time and checking it.
“There.”
He promptly flops onto his side on my foot, wraps his front paws around my ankle, and then starts rabbiting me with his back feet while biting me. Not biting me hard, but hard enough to make me yelp and hop around on one foot while trying to free my other from his maniacal grasp.
“Ouch! You little goober, stop it!”
He dives for the bottom of the pantry door and shoves a front leg under it.
“Maow!”
“No! I’m not giving it to you.” Although, as I head back upstairs, I suspect I’ll be helping Tom build that catio sooner rather than later.
Behind me, Jester’s still at war with the pantry door. “MAOW!”
I stop and listen, because he’s pretty loud and it doesn’t sound like he’s giving up. Turning around, I retrace my steps and find him still digging around under the pantry door. Now he’s on his side and rabbiting the door with his rear feet while one front paw is armpit-deep under the door.
“Okay, fine!” I manage to keep him out of the pantry while I grab the container of peanut butter. After making sure the lid’s on tightly, I put it on the floor for him, where he pounces on it. I close the pantry door and watch him for a moment. “Just don’t tell Daddy, all right?”
“Maow!”
“Whatever, little dude. Have fun.” I turn off the light and return to bed.
If this is the craziest my life ever gets again, I’ll be glad for it.
Anything to be home again.
Chapter Seventeen
Tomas
The next morning, I awaken before my alarm and can’t help smiling at the sight of Desi in my bed.
Ourbed.
Jester’s not in bed, though, which is odd. I shut off my alarm, hit the bathroom, and grab my robe so I can go get our coffee started.
Midway down the stairs, my foot lands in something on the stairs. Something warm and gooey.
“Ugh!” Not the first time I’ve awakened to cat yak somewhere. This is why I have hardwood floors and not carpeting. The area rugs I do have can be spot-cleaned, or taken outside and hosed off.
Holding on to the bannister, I hop the rest of the way downstairs and into the powder room down there, where I flip on the light and prop my foot up on the counter, in the sink, to rinse it off.
“What the heck?” The tan gooey substance on the bottom of my foot doesn’t look like cat puke.
Doesn’t look like cat poop, either.
