“Huh?”
“Oh, you can’t leave the pantry door open.” He explains to me about Jester’s addiction to peanut butter, making me laugh.
“Now I know why I had to go after him about it this morning.”
Tom’s smile faded. “I never got the catio built.”
More guilt twists in my guts. “I’m sorry. I’ll help you build it for him.”
“We had a lot of plans.” His gaze remains on Jester but I see the way his eyes look a little too bright, like he’s struggling not to cry. “I had a lot of dreams I’d built around you and our life together.”
I pull him into my arms and tightly hug him, holding him even when he first tries to push me away until he’s clinging to me and crying.
He’s not the only one.
“You told me you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me!” He chokes out his agony through his tears. “You told me I was your soulmate!”
“You are, and I do.” I slowly rock him, soothing him. I’ve never seen him this upset before, ever. That I caused it eviscerates me and heaps more guilt on my plate that I know I deserve to suffer through. “I never should have tried to change you or make you leave here.”
We remain clinging together like that for a quiet eternity, until we’re kissing again and time soon does that funny dissolving and stretching thing it does when we’re together and focused on each other. Before long, we’re stretched out in bed and our clothes have since been discarded. With his warm flesh pressed against mine, I struggle not to think about the wasted time and pain and instead focus only on the here and now.
On our future together.
In the end, once we’re spent, I’m the one snuggled in his arms and draped over his chest, his heart softly beating against my ear through his ribs.
A sound I never realized how much I’ve been missing.
A sound I don’t think I can live without now.
“I love you, Des.” His fingers gently rake through my hair. “I always hoped you’d come back but I didn’t want to torture myself.”
I tip my head back to stare into his eyes. “Feel free to torture me for as long as you need to, baby.”
That wins me a playful chuckle. “You might regret making that offer.”
I grin. “As long as it’s you torturing me, I’ll never regret it.”
Chapter Fifteen
Tomas
We end up in the shower together, something else I never thought might happen again. By the time the water runs cold, we’ve exhausted each other and my soul cautiously thinks maybe I’ve made the right decision.
It’s also full dark outside as we throw on clothes and make our way downstairs to cook dinner. Desi takes the chicken breasts away from me that I was just going to toss in a skillet to brown. He butterflies them, flattens them, seasons them, and breads them. He turns canned spaghetti sauce into a delicious marinara, and before long we’re sitting down to homemade chicken parm and I’m in heaven.
Alacea’s probably won’t see me for a while. Especially not for breakfast.
I know this isn’t magically all better. There’s still a lot of talking we need to do, and we start that after dinner while cuddled together on the couch in front of the TV with Jester walking all over us and begging for attention.
We retire to the bedroom and make love, and for the first night in years I sleep deeply, not waking until my alarm the next morning.
I do not want to go into work. I want to stay in bed with Desi, but we both have things to do. “What are you doing today?” I ask.
“I’m going to run over to Keith’s place with the paperwork, explain everything to him in detail, lay out the next steps, and then go with him to a notary so he can sign everything. From there, I’ll file what needs to be filed, either in Webley, or overnight it to the state, whatever can’t be filed electronically.”
“And you’ll walk everything through until it’s complete?”
“Absolutely.”
