A shaky breath escapes me in a whoosh. “How many guys?”
To his credit I can tell he doesn’t want to discuss this, but he answers me. “Five. Two I only dated a week each. Two of them lasted nearly a month each. The last guy, Freddy, is the son of a friend of my parents and he works at the firm. We dated nearly two months. I broke up with him three weeks ago. I didn’t sleep with any of them, I swear.”
It takes everything in me not to shove his hands away. “Can you see where I’m suspicious?”
“I can, and I don’t blame you for it.”
Silence settles over us for a moment. “You going to ask it?”
He slowly shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. You had every right to live your life after I walked away.”
“No one,” I tell him, feeling the jagged edges of the bitter words rasp against my tongue even as I hurl them at him. “There was no one forme. Not even just dating, not even to have coffee or dinner with. Youknowme. You know I don’t enjoy being around most people, especially strangers, and by myself.”
He squeezes my hands once more. “I’m sorry, baby. In the beginning, I thought I’d be able to convince you to want to move with me.”
“I won’t give up the store. I haven’t changed my mind there. If you want me, that has to be good enough for you. This is my life, and my future. Youhaveto live here, with me, because I’m never leaving this town.”
He nods. “I know. It wasn’t fair of me to ask it of you, either.”
Damn him for shooting down every last one of my protests.
Damn him for taking responsibility and completely absolving me.
Damn him for making this stupid-easy in a dangerously comforting way.
I gently disengage my hands from his and twist the ring off my finger, holding both gold bands in my palm. “I can’t tell youyestoday,” I finally say despite my heart screaming at me to throw myself into his arms. “But I’m not telling youno. I’ll tell younot yet. That’s the best I can do right now. I don’t know how long it’ll be, or what it’ll take, to turn that into a yes. That has to be good enough for you for now.”
He eagerly nods. “I’ll take anything, baby. Anything. As long as there’s hope, I’ll do whatever it takes.”
That word cuts into my soul, too. “How many ofthemdid you call ‘baby’?” I don’t bother keeping the bitterness out of my tone. I think I’ve earned the right to be petty.
“Only you.”
To the best of my knowledge he’s never lied to me. I don’t want to think he’d start now, when he knows if he did and I discovered it that I’d never give him another chance. “How do I know when you leave here you won’t change your mind again?”
To his credit he nods. “You don’t. I’ll work my ass off to regain your trust. I do have to go back to Miami at some point. I need to empty and sell my condo there, and I have to sell the apartment in New York.”
I don’t know if I want to get my hopes up. At one time, this man was my forever. I’ve cried a river of tears worthy of the falls outside of town over him.
“Where are you staying right now?” I ask.
“I have a room over in Sarcan. The motel there.” I’m pondering my next statement when he adds, “If you don’t want me to stay here, I’m okay with that. No pressure. I didn’t want to assume anything.”
Overwhelmed, I close my eyes again. “Let’s start with breakfast and could you please grab me some Tylenol from the cabinet? And more water?”
He kisses me on the forehead. “Absolutely, baby.”
I sit there, eyes closed, trying not to hope.
But it’s darned hard not to.
Chapter Ten
Desi
Tom hasn’t thrown me out of the house yet, so I consider that a huge win. He also doesn’t make me take the rings back. Instead, he sets them on the table while I bring him another glass of water and the Tylenol.
Not going to lie—it stings that he won’t wear them right now, but I get it. That he didn’t throw them at me is a win I’ll greedily accept.
