Well, that and knowing this deal getting borked will irritate Freddy and likely lower his standing in the firm.
That’s a nice bonus.
Chapter Seven
Tomas
One thing’s obvious to me—I’m not fit to be at work today. No doubt word of the morning sighting, and the likely very spirited debate about whether or not it was actually Desi, has spread from the Methodist ladies’ group and engulfed my entire staff by now.
Meaning either they’ll want to talk about it with me, or they’ll fall guiltily silent at the sight of me, nudging each other with elbows as I approach, and I don’t want to deal with that, either.
I get it—my friends worry about me. Their concerns spring from a place of love, and I don’t take that for granted.
Doesn’t mean I want them falling all over themselves or me to try to cheer me up or lift my spirits.
Or, worse, start trying to fix me up. Because if they do that, and something ends badly, I don’t want other people dragged into the drama.
Of course I’m not the only gay man in town. Are there other eligible gay men in town? Yes, but none who I’ve met who float my boat in anything other than a let’s just be friends kind of way.
I’ve thought about using one of those dating sites but every time I start to fill out the profile, the questions make me think about Desi and I shut the page down without ever completing it.
The truth is that I am not over him yet, and haven’t even started that process. Maybe when he calls me back later I need to just say the words. Maybe I need to ask him if we’re truly…done.
Wish him love and luck and cut the cord to him once and for all.
He’s probably moved on, right? I told him to date. I knew dating wouldn’t be in the cards for me, at first, because of work and because I knew I’d be missing him.
But if he still wanted me and we do still have a “relationship,” wouldn’t he have taken more initiative to, you know, stay in touch with me?
Maybe I shouldn’t have texted him. Responding like that isn’t unusual for him, either. Our standing agreement is that if he can’t talk, he’ll send it to voice mail and text me as soon as possible to let me know what’s going on.
I don’t know what I thought would happen and now I’m kicking myself in the butt for even contacting him.
Waiting until I know the orchid class is over to return to the store, I go in the back way and dart up the stairs, avoiding everyone downstairs. Quickly gathering my things, I let Jasiri, my assistant manager, know that I’m taking the rest of the day off. Then I return downstairs and leave through the back door before anyone can engage with me.
From the concern in Jasiri’s eyes, I’m certain she’s heard the rumors. Bless her, she has the tact not to say anything to me about them, and exudes more than a little protective mom energy to potentially shut others down who she thinks might upset me.
Once I’m securely locked inside my house again, I breathe a sigh of relief.
Alone.
I’m not an extrovert. I never have been. Which is odd, considering both of my parents are. Working in the store, I never minded those interactions. It gave me contact with other people in manageable doses. I never had to force topics of conversation. I never felt at a loss for words. School wasn’t unbearable, but I despised college.
I loved the classwork part of it, but I had no desire to socialize outside of a classroom. It’s amazing I even made any friends, much less fell in love with Desi.
He wouldn’t give up on me. We shared a class and he kept talking to me before and after every day, asking me to coffee. Not obnoxiously, but I wasn’t sure why he was talking to me.
It took him a couple of weeks to slowly work me to the point where I finally found myself agreeing to meet him at a local coffeeshop. From there, it took him another couple of weeks to talk me into going out to dinner with him.
And so forth.
Three months later, I was in love and terrified that once Desi graduated he’d walk out of my life.
But he didn’t. He went home with me for holiday visits, and my parents loved him immediately. I slowly started working on him to make Maudlin Falls his home, and to my shock, he said yes. Once he completed law school, he moved in with me.
Oh, he still traveled some for work. He also took the bar in Florida, where he was originally from, and would sometimes work on cases there for a firm owned by a friend of his parents. I didn’t mind that. We shared my small apartment, and when my parents turned over the business and house to me, we moved in there together.
I thought that was it.
