My heart, on the other hand, has just had the rug yanked out from under it at the realization that I am in no way doing “okay.”
I lock myself inside and lean against the front door, sucking in deep breaths to try and slow my pulse.
Jester, his feet softly padding on the hardwood floors, comes running down the hall from the kitchen and practically slides to a stop in front of me, where he sits and wraps his tail around his haunches.
Looking up at me, he meows.
I scoop him into my arms, bury my face in his fur, and cry.
Obviously, I’m not over the guy yet. I don’t think I’ve even started getting over him. I’m still stuck in…stasis.
Maybe I should go to book club tonight and let Edith ply me with blueberry pie.
Then again, maybe I should run up to Colley to a liquor store there, pick up enough to get me good and drunk tonight, and just plan on taking the day off tomorrow. I did work over the weekend and mentioned yesterday I might take time off during the week.
Or, maybe while I’m in Colley, I should look up the counselor I called a few months back and see if they can fit me in for an appointment.
Because I have a feeling if I’m this raw and shredded over a misidentification, it means I seriously need some help.
Although reaching out for help from others has never been my strong suit. I tend to build walls and put up facades so people don’t worry about me.
The only person I let my guard down with…was Desiderio.
And I don’t even have him anymore.
Chapter Six
Desi
I don’t need the GPS on my phone to chart my course to Keith Barnes’ farm. I know the way.
In fact, I go out of my way to take a longer, roundabout route to get there. Less chance of me running into anyone else I know before I’m ready for my presence in town to be revealed.
I’m reasonably certain Mr. Barnes won’t spill my secret. He hasn’t yet told anyone else in town he’s selling to the developer, worried that it’ll get him run out of same said town.
Can’t blame him.
Better the announcement comes after all the pieces are in place. Once the locals find out that they’re getting several new businesses, it shouldn’t be too difficult to win them over.
Hopefully I’ve had a chance to win Tomas back by then. It’s difficult for me not to picture myself living here again, yet I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up for a whole host of reasons.
The first being that Tom might hate me, and he might already have someone else by now.
I admit it—I was wrong to think I could ever be happy without him. I was also wrong to think I could convince him to give up a business that’s been in his family for decades, one that the town counts on. He’s put his entire heart and soul into it literally his entire life.
I waswrong.
Now if I can just get a chance to tell him how sorry I am—as many times as he needs to hear it from me—I’ll gladly grovel for as long and hard as he needs me to.
This real estate deal will make several people a lot of money. Not me, because I’m only earning billable hours for my role in the transaction. But the developer is one of the firm’s largest clients and is good friends with one of the senior partners.
All of my plans, of course, are contingent upon me reconciling with Tom. I’m hoping I can work out a deal with my firm to let me cut back on my cases when I move here. I can work remotely and then limit my in-person work to the Miami office. It’d mean a massive cut in income, but I no longer care about that.
If they won’t agree? Then I guess I’ll go back to work for another firm, or for myself, here in Maudlin Falls and the surrounding area.
Yes, I might have checked and there’s still no lawyer in Maudlin Falls. Most of my work would be in the nearby larger towns, like Webley and Colley, but I could have an office here.
Right?
