It was me. It was remembering Mom’s crestfallen expression every time Dad would slam the front door behind him as he left for who knew how long. It was remembering the pain I felt discovering I’d been cheated on by the first guy I fell in love with right after college.
It was the memory of my heart hammering in my chest as I unlocked Liam’s old phone and started reading.
It’s a me problem, at this point, and I know it.
I do let Liam and Ward have sex, sometimes with me, sometimes without, and there is even one memorable night where the stars aligned, Olivia was out of town for two days, and we were able to let Ward spend a whole night with us.
I also let Liam unleash his sadistic side on the boy, usually while I either sit and watch, or while I hold Ward and comfort him as Liam spanks or pummels him.
And during those times I silently envy Ward, even as my soul tells me I am not yet ready to return to full submission yet.
In the eight months since this madness truly started, I’m realizing that, yes, I am enjoying owning Ward. Not just because he feeds me vital information I can use professionally.
That’s a part of our relationship Liam doesn’t and cannot know about. I’m certain he would protest if he did. That info stream, however, helps me in a multitude of ways that makes my job infinitely easier and provides me vital leverage I can judiciously apply to bend previously recalcitrant lawmakers and lobbyists and other political wonks to my will.
I’m also enjoying owning Ward…because I’m in love with him.
Technically, I’m not sharing Liam with him yet. It’s more correct to say that I’m sharing Ward with Liam. Just because I let them do things together doesn’t mean Liam’s in control of them. Everything that happens in person between them is either directed by or approved of by me first.
Even spot-checking their text conversations on either end reveals no discrepancies. I have full access to their phones. They know every text and e-mail they write can be read by me.
Every time I examine the possibility of easing up and returning Ward’s ownership to Liam, and thus allowing Liam to truly own me once more, a nasty little ball of acid-green jealousy rears up inside me.
At first, I thought it was because I didn’t want to give Liam unlimited access to Ward and lose that control over both of them.
The more I thought about it, though, I realized the opposite is true—I don’t want Ward to have unlimited access to Liam.
I want to keep Ward for myself, though, not keep him away from Liam.
The boy ismineand I’d be lying if I said I want to let go of that control now that I have it. Ward still wears my day collar on his wrist and Liam’s not allowed to remove it unless it is a legit emergency. I told both of them when I present Ward with a day collar I buy for him, then we can move that bracelet back to my wrist, because I’d be ready to once again submit to Liam.
Thus, I stall. For now.
When I undertook this insanity, it was supposed to be teaching them both a lesson and getting our freak on. I never dreamed I’d get to know Ward on such a deeply intimate level this quickly.
Or fall as hard for him as I have.
It’s now damned easy for me to understand why Liam fell so hard for Ward and could never get him out of his heart, even after Ward ghosted him.
Ward bears a fragile vulnerability that silently begs for protection from the cruel world. There’s a breathtaking purity to his submission, how he can completely surrender, even when he doesn’t want to do a particular act. He is happy simply by pleasing me, and I take every opportunity to lavish him with praise.
Ward absolutely isn’t a politician at heart. Not really.
I’ve also been quietly looking into his father and the man’s associates, and…yeah. There are some pretty rough individuals sharing the same circles with Mason Rutherford Callahan. They’re asshole-deep in each other’s holdings all over the world, and I suspect quite a bit of back-room political fuckery also happens here and abroad.
Especially considering how many of them are closely associated with people in The Family.
Part of my hesitation is that I’m still in research mode. Hasty actions without proper planning can epically backfire in very bad ways. Meaning I’m constantly playing a long-game in my head. It’s a rotating mix of strictly work, work-adjacent projects…
And people I’ve made my hobby because they’ve run afoul of me in some way.
Ward is the first person who I’ve made my hobby but who I’m also personally vested in the way I currently am. Someone who is now my hobby because…
Well, because I love him.
Usually, when someone becomes my hobby it’s because they’ve done something to Liam—intentionally or not—that’s pissed him off or in some way made his life difficult. Or someone who’s made my job harder because they’re opposing my congressman.
So I make their life difficult. It’s always proportional, though. I don’t toss nukes over a parking violation, that kind of proportional.
