Anything, just to save this.
To saveus.
As I hurry past him, his hand shoots out and he snags my hair again, pulling me in for a long, deep kiss. “No, I’m not topping you tonight, but I have a feeling if I don’t tie you down, you’ll jump in and flip me, and I need you and him both to understand how damned serious I am. You two took a huge fucking risk. It’s only sheer luck someone didn’t catch you two in the damned act.”
“I love you so much, baby.”
He grimly smiles. “Let’s see how much you love me after I putmymarks onmyboy.” He releases me.
I’m halfway up the stairs when he calls out to me and I turn.
“You’re turned on like crazy right now, aren’t you?”
I’m not going to lie. “The thought of watching the two of you together? Yeah.”
“Has this always been a fantasy of yours?”
“No. Never thought it’d be possible.”
“You never imagined us in a three-way? Because, I gotta tell you, I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to spit-roast Ryan Reynolds between us.” The barest hints of my boy’s smile quirks the corners of his lips.
Shame fills me again. “I’m so sorry, baby. I—”
“No.” The hard-ass returns. “Stopwith the apologies. Words are meaningless. I want to see your actions going forward. And his. No more secrets, and you’re going to accept me being a total bitch for a while, right?”
I nod. “As long as you need.”
He takes a step up. “Best-case scenario, he divorces his wife in a couple of years and moves in with us as a ‘roommate,’ since you’re old friends. But he’ll still bemyboy.Iget control of himandyour time with him. That’s ongoing. I might never drop that stipulation, even once you’re out of the doghouse.”
Dare I even hope that might be a possibility? “Agreed.”
He takes another step up. “There might be nights I use him and don’t let you have him. You don’t get to pull the Master card on me over it, either. You don’t get to be pissy or whiny about it.Myboy—mydecision.”
I nod. “Agreed. He belongs to you.”
His next step puts him two risers below me on the stairs. “DoIstill belong to you?” he quietly asks, the hard-ass momentarily disappearing. The visceral ache in his tone shreds me.
“Yes, you’re still my boy, if you want me. Whatever you need from me, I’ll do it. As long as it takes.”
“Even if I keep moving the goalposts on you? Because I can tell you right now, I probably will.”
“Even if it takes us the rest of our lives. I will grovel like a motherfucker until the last breath leaves my body if it means you won’t leave me. I never wanted to hurt you, and this is completely my fault. You did nothing wrong. You’ve always been my perfect boy. I’m the one who failed you.”
He blinks back tears, breaking my heart. “I’m going to need time to trust you again. I swore I’d never let someone hurt me and stay in my life, and yet, here I am, still giving you power over me to gut me when what I should do is walk out that door and never look back.”
“I know, baby. I’m sorry.”
He angrily brushes the tears away. “It’s going to fucking hurt, and it’s going to take a while. You hurt me, but he hurt you first. I want him to get a taste of how hard it was putting you back together again. I have a lot of anger and resentment over what he did to you.”
I nod. “I know.”
“Have you taken it out of his hide? Punished him for all the tears and pain?”
I swallow hard. “Not yet. It was on my list.”
“Okay. Guess it gets added to mine, then.” He points up the stairs. “I’ll be right there.”
I turn and head up, unbuttoning my shirt as I walk to our bedroom.
