Grandsire.
That’s…weird, but that’s something now sticking in my head.
How they sometimes spoke to each other in a foreign language I didn’t understand a lot of, even though I knew some of it.
They were friends, like brothers, but…not.
How we had the hiding game. If there were ever any visitors when I was at Zuzu’s, it wasveryimportant for me to hide in a closet or somewhere and remain perfectly still and silent until either Dad or Zuzu called for me to come out. Because they worried someone might take me away from them if I was ever discovered there.
And Zuzu always gave merhozhencandy after I hid, and told me what a good girl I was…
My eyes pop open.
What the hell isrhozhencandy?
Except now I cantastethem in my mouth, sort of like a cross between chocolate and fruit taffy, sweetly tart and lightly fluffy, like a truffle candy. My mouth even waters as I think about them.
Candy I’ve never been able to find anywhere else despite now realizing I’ve spent fruitless years trying to find something to replicate them.
Mazbushka. It’s what Dad called me.
It’s also what Zuzu called me.
The man who helped Dad with my schoolwork, but like he was learning along with me. Laughing as we played hide-and-seek in the woods and around a bunch of rocks and…
The blindfold game.
How many of my childhood memories are…gone?
One of my earliest memories… A cold winter’s day, and we’d gone to visit Zuzu, which was odd, because usually we saw him at night. After the blindfold game, we’d met Zuzu in the woods.
But then we heard voices, and Dad hustled us back the way we came and made me close my eyes as he passed me to Zuzu. Dad said something, the same phrase he always said when we played the blindfold game. And then…
The sounds changed. We were back in the Cardiff woods, just me and Zuzu, without Dad, but Dad promised to return soon. We were near the rocks that were so familiar to me.
I remember how Zuzu looked full of wonder as I named trees and animals for him, and he carried me, almost like he clung to me in his amazement. He usually didn’t get to see Cardiff’s woods in the daytime.
His absolute terror, followed by child-like delight, as he stared up at an airplane flying overhead and I told him about planes. Like he’d never seen one before.
Zuzu.
Dad bought Cat and Dog for me, but it was Zuzu who picked them out for me in the shop.
My heart races as I remember that afternoon, when Dad played the blindfold game with me. But instead of going to Zuzu’s, when I opened my eyes, Zuzu wasthere,and he came with us back to town. I remember showing Zuzu my favorite places, going shopping, stopping at a chip shop for lunch. Like he was seeing things he’d never seen before.
Zuzu picked out Cat and Dog at one of the shops we visited. Cat and Dog are currently safely packed in my luggage, along with all my other clothes. Everything else is safely stored in my 4Runner back in Chaldis’ garage. We’ll retrieve all of that later.
I remember taking Zuzu back to our apartment, his wonder at watching TV, Dad saying things to him in a sweetly teasing tone in that strange language they spoke, me chiming in, too. How we all cooked dinner together, and it was like Zuzu had never tasted those foods before.
Is he even alive? Does he miss me? Does he remember me?
How thehellwould I even go aboutfindinghim again?
I’d planned to sleep during the flight over, while Dexter was asleep, but now that Zuzu is fully in my mind and heart again, I sit up, thinking about him, unable to sleep.
What if I can’t remember him again?
How could I haveeverstopped thinking abouthim? He was such a huge part of my life before…
