Or, worse, if he told me not to ask him that because I’d walked away from him.
“We need to be careful about the optics.” I play with his hair, stroking it, running it through my fingers. Elliot’s hair is softer and finer than Leo’s, and there’s something soothing about the warmth of his head under my hand.
Needless to say, I haven’t been with anyone since leaving Leo, and Elliot’s not the only one starved for affection. “I’ll talk to Kev about making sure me living with you now and in the White House is done above-board, so I’m paying my way and we don’t violate any ethics rules.”
“Yes, Sir. Thank you.” His grip on me tightens a little and I rub his head again. He’s a gorgeous man with a body to kill for, scars or not. I’ve seen pictures of him while he was in the service, and maybe he’s not as tight as he was then, but he’s damn sure in better shape than I am.
“I might need to go out on a few dates, you know. Public dates, so people think I’m straight. Will probably need to arrange some for you, too.” Ironically, Leo can’t live in the White House with Shae and Chris without it creating rumors. Kev’s situation with them was different, and they had the weight of public opinion already swinging heavily in their favor even before he was shot.
The world saw Kev as a grieving friend and ex-husband when Lauren was murdered. Then he nearly died in what he thought was an attempt on Chris’ life, and threw himself in front of a bullet he thought was meant for Chris—the first spouse.
At this point, Kev could walk naked down the National Mall while jerking off, and people would probably laugh it off.
Elliot’s eyes open and he looks at me. “I don’t think I like that, even though I know you’re right. Especially about someone dating you.”
I ruffle his hair again. “Don’t have to like it. It’s what needs to be done, though. We don’t want anyone clocking us. Unless that’s what you want to happen now.”
He sighs. “I know, Sir,” he mutters.
Ah, my boy’s first mouthiness with me.
Still, he is a good boy and will do what I tell him to.
Can’t deny I like that he’s territorial. Ironic that he’s now territorial over me the way he was over Leo.
Except I understand optics, especially with the past six months to ruminate on the events of the last six years. I know had I simply asked Leo to, he likely would have fought for me to stay, and fought damned hard. But Leo has no interest in an unwilling partner and I really gave him no choice. To have Leo, I have to own what I want, and I knew it then the same way I know it now.
The damaged and emotional teenaged boy residing inside my skin, who’s never far from the surface of my soul and who always fears rejection, still wishes Leo had stepped up, unasked, andfoughtfor me the way Mimi fought for me.
Wishes that Leo had smothered me after I left, never left me alone for a moment, wore me down until I gave in and returned, or never allowed me to leave him in the first place.
Thatpart of me shivers in pleasure at Elliot’s territorial grumbling now.
Thatpart of me is also, after the fact, extremely pleased Elliot sent Secret Service agents after me, at work, and basically ordered me to come to him.
Staking his claim on me in a very public fashion.
My boy or not, that’s fucking sexy as hell.
I know I was pissed off when I thought it was Leo summoning me, but who thehellam I kidding? Had Leo been here when I arrived…
I would have thrown myself at him, wrapped myself around him, and never let him go.
Like I said, there’s a way I can get a few of the things I need through this arrangement, too.
Having the leader of the free world able to send armed agents after me at his whim is one of those…things.
I mean, it’s notexactlywhat I need,duh. But Elliot’s determination to have me.
The need and desire to have me.
The needforme.
Everyone loves to feel wanted.
That pushes some ofmybuttons.
Okay, alotof my buttons.
