I’m doing it because I know it’s what would make Mimi proud of me, for taking the high road and thinking about something far greater than myself.
The whole reason I left was to help Elliot. Because our country needs him.
If it means stuff finally works out all right for me personally, then I’ll take that win and be glad for it.
It’s also a way for me to give a silentfuck youto my parents.
Once I have my food, I lock us in the suite again and settle into position on the couch, with Elliot’s head resting on my thigh while I eat. My new pet VP stares up at me like a puppy, watching me.
I hold a chip over his mouth and arch an eyebrow.
His lips part, waiting, and I feed it to him, my hand gently cupping his throat while he chews.
Yeah, just like Leo does with me.
Well,didwith me. I imagine he always did it the same way with Elliot, though.
NowI totally get why Leo loves this particular activity. Feeding his pet, I mean. It’s fun having someone totally surrender control of themselves. Absolutely fricking adorable.
I meet Elliot’s gaze for a long moment, studying his eyes. There are flecks of grey and granite in them that give them smoke-filled depths I could easily lose myself in.
As much as I’ve been hurting, it was self-inflicted. The choice to leave Leo and DC was mine, and I’m not about to blame anyone else for my decision.
Although I can stew that Leo didn’t come after me, or at least call me more often. He’s not a mind reader, though.
Elliot’s a victim of circumstances, to an extent. Sure, he chose to run for office, and he accepted being appointed to the party’s ticket, but he can’t control that the general public wouldn’t accept him being Leo’s slave. There are legitimate concerns about whether or not more conservative voters will even accept him being gay, much less his own family.
Hence why he wants to wait to come out, at least until after the first election.
If he loses, he’ll know he lost because of any reason other than him being publicly out.
I sigh as I stare into his eyes. “I guess this is the beginning of a pretty strange relationship, huh, boy?”
Elliot playfully smirks. “I guess so, Sir.”
* * * *
Unless there’s a serious reason to disturb Elliot, I know the crew and staff won’t bother him during the return flight to DC. Still, I opt to keep him dressed until we’re wheels-up and in the air.
But until we’re at that point, I eat my dinner and let Elliot lie there on the sofa, his head in my lap, his eyes closed. After I finish my food, I massage the top of his head with one hand and hold his hands with the other.
He’s a damned wreck and silently cries off and on. About an hour later, before the press and staff return, what residual resentment I still held for him has totally dissolved.
Part of me silently curses Leo for letting him get to this point, but then I also think about how stoic Elliot can be.
He likely hasn’t admitted to Leo how bad off he is.
“Why me?” I softly ask.
He sniffles but doesn’t open his eyes. “Like I said, Sir—Leo, I mean—trusts you. That means I can trust you. I don’t have the energy to interview people to be my body man and have to worry about whether or not I can be myself around them.
“It’s a bonus that you can dothisfor me. ShaeneedsLeo. I know he’ll come work for me if I ask him to, but that’s not fair to her. It’ll be a problem for her and Kev if I do that. They need him to help cover for them.”
Once again, putting everyone else ahead of his own needs.
“And it’ll be a problem if you come out later,” I note. “You can’t marry your body man.”
He shrugs. “There’s that, too.”
