Because Leo loves Elliot, it means I won’t hurt Elliot, either.
He’s still using that quiet tone. “I need you to come work for me as my body man. Not only during the campaign, but after I’m elected, too. Provided I win, of course.”
Now IknowI didn’t hear him right. “Saywhut?”
“You heard me.”
Forcing myself to stay quiet and ponder this is…well, let’s just say it’sdifficult.
The man has everything he wanted, and now he’s rubbing salt into my wounds?
My anger and pain want to burst through, while my aching heart and soul desperately rein it in.
I’m better than that.
Leo loves Elliot, and I know he loves Leo. While I’m hurting—and, okay, more than a little angry Elliot’s here—I love Leo. I’ll always love Leo. I love him as much right now as the day I wish I could take back, the day I stupidly left him.
Because of that love, I willneverdo anything to disrespect Leo. Part of my heart and soul will always belong to him.
I don’t speak until I’m sure I can control my mouth. It’s a struggle to keep my voice low, so we’re not overheard. “Did Leo put you up to this?”
Or worse, somehow, I wonder if Leo ordered him to do it.
“Leo and President Samuels are in Ottawa for five days.” He shifts his weight the way I know he does when he feels uncomfortable. “They left yesterday. From there they fly to London for a seven-day stay, then on to Tokyo, the start of nine days in that region. Leo has no idea I’m even here. I mean,” he quickly adds, “I’m sure he’s seen my schedule and knows I’mhere-here, in Tallahassee.
“Had meetings yesterday about conservation issues and Everglades restoration progress. Shae hasn’t sold her house here yet, and it was already secure. I needed a night alone away from Washington and the public at large to clear my head. Shae offered to let me use it whenever I wanted a getaway, so I stayed there last night. Today, I had a bunch of meetings with state party officials, the governor, and others.
“Leo doesn’t know I’m meeting with you right now. This is just you and me talking, Elliot and Jordan, and it’s not listed on any schedule. Only Secret Service knows you’re here. It’s blocked out as executive time. I mean, the flight crew knows you’re here, but they don’t knowwhoyou are, or why I’ve asked you here.”
The rapid spin of my pulse threatens to make me light-headed. I barely manage a whisper. “Why?”
“Because I didn’t want to tell Leo until after you and I talked, and I didn’t want you brought over to Shae’s house and have someone get a picture of you arriving or departing. I also didn’t want your visit listed on the official logs.”
Confusion has my thoughts all scrambled. “No. I mean, why are you asking this ofme? You hate me.”
He shifts position again and his gaze drops.
“I don’t hate you, Jordan. I’ve never hated you. I’m sorry you thought that.”
“Damn funny way of showing it,” I mutter.
He looks at me again. “Idon’thate you. It was fear,nothatred.”
“Fear?”
“Yeah.”
I snort. “Now Iknowyou’re screwing with me. You could pound me into the fricking pavement, even if you didn’t have a squadron of Secret Service suits—”
“I was scared of losing Leo to you.” That makes my jaw snap shut. “Of him walking away from me to be with you,” he continues. “Of him getting tired of all the bullshit being with me entails, both personally and professionally. Of him saying ‘fuck it,’ and walking away with you because he was tired of living on the edges of a fishbowl where I’m too chickenshit to publicly declare how I feel about him.
“You’re younger than me, a private citizen. And, let’s face it, you’re hot, you’re brilliant, you’re talented, and you aren’t dealing with any of the bullshit I am, physically or emotionally. In you he has his perfect dream come true—a submissive boy he can do whatever he wants with in near anonymity. He can have a real life again with you. He can have the kind of life he’ll never be able to have withme.”
I struggle to process all of that.
“Leo’s the love of my life,” he continues. “I knew I’d never meet anyone else like him. And if you couldn’t guess, dating, for me, is a little awkward. Especially right now. That only makes me more certain I’ll hate myself if I drive him away.”
“Yeah, well…” I sigh. “Guess I eliminatedthatworry for you, huh? You’re welcome, by the way.”
