That’s something else. That Elliot hasn’t been able to outright say to Leo or anyone else yes, he’s running. It’s obvious from everything he does and says, but he’s never turned to the man who’d die for him without hesitation and told him he’s running.
“Do you want to be part of the campaign?” Kev asks.
“I mean…” I think about it. “I’m getting really good at this stuff.” I laugh. “I never thought I’d like reading polls and planning ground strategy. Never thought I’d understand, much less like politics.”
Kev sits back. “Liking it and being good at it can be mutually exclusive. Before you decide this is the path you want to be on, you need to take a long, hard, honest look around DC at people who do it for a living. You’re a sweet guy, a nice guy. If this is the life you want, more power to you, because yes, you are dedicated, and yes, you have a knack for this.”
The hovering darkness I’d felt growing thicker for months finally makes itself known. “You don’t think I should be here?”
“On the contrary. I think you will be great here, or in politics in general. I think you have the potential for a lucrative, exciting career in politics.” He studies me. “But is that whatyouwant to do?”
“Why?”
“Because I know what Leo hoped would happen hasn’t. I’m not putting my nose in the middle of your relationship. That’s not me. But you and I both know Elliot needs Leo. And Leo’s never walking away from Elliot.”
I slowly twist my hands in my lap without looking at them. “And Elliot’s not warming up to me likethat,” I softly say.
We sit there for a moment as I let that settle in the air between us like dust beaten from curtains that have been pulled closed for far too long.
“Has Elliot said anything to you about me?” I finally ask.
Kev shakes his head. “I know Elliot is Leo’s good boy. He’ll do whatever Leo asks of him.”
“Except come out.”
Kev shrugs. “I can’t fault the guy. I’m still technically in the closet. I’m a dirty secret who can take down a presidency, if I make one wrong decision or have a single, stupid misstep. You and I are members of a very exclusive club, in that way. That’s the only reason we’re talking now—because Idoknow where you’re coming from, in some ways.”
“If I stay, I stay a dirty secret, and I make Elliot miserable in the process.”
“I don’t think you’re making him miserable.”
“I damn sure ain’t makin’ him happy, Kev.”
He smiles. “You can’t make people happy or unhappy. They choose their path.” He plays with his pen before pointing it at me. “If you stay, you need to have a focus besides Leo, or it could make you bitter. That means focusing on yourcareer.” He taps the pen on his desk for emphasis on the last word. “Because if I know Leo Cruz, he’s not going to be happy letting you date anyone, and I know damn well you don’t have time for a hobby.”
I snort. “I don’t want to date anyone else, but you aren’t wrong there, either.” Besides, we have an agreement that it’s only the three of us—me and Leo and Elliot.
Elliot even has standing permission from Leo to use me however he wants, something I fantasized heavily about early on…and an offer Elliot’s never taken advantage of.
Another rejection that doesn’t sting as much now as it used to.
At least, that’s what I tell myself.
“If you stay, then you and I should have an open line of communication over the next couple of years, and even beyond, if you want. I can coach you. Not just about politics, but about managing optics. You’ve learned a lot already. There are even more things you’ll need to know.”
“Like throwing people off the scent and keeping them off it?”
Kev smiles. “Exactly. Among other political warfare tactics.”
I settle back in my chair and think about it for a moment. “If I don’t stay, I should probably leave sooner rather than later.”
“Probably. But I think it’ll break Leo’s heart if you leave.”
“You’re not helping. I thought you were trying to hint Ishouldleave?”
“I’m not trying to confuse you. I’m trying to show you I’m a sounding board. We’re on the same team. That’s why we’re talking. If I thought you should leave, you’d already be gone. Elliot’s going to need Leo. And the only thing out there that could take Elliot down, if he doesn’t come out, is someone stumbling over the three of you. I’m here to help you with managing that.”
Kev chuckles. “In two years, it’s not my problem any longer, but I want to help you as much or as little as you’ll accept.”
