In the rare, private interludes when it’s just me and Leo, I barely have the brain cells to process what Leo says to me at any given time. In those moments, I’m too busy trying to cram as much need and longing into however precious few minutes we have together so I can refill my well to take care of Elliot.
I don’t know how Leo managed it for all those years before I came along. It is truly fuckingexhausting.
Except Elliot’s worth it. Sooo worth it.
Not the office, or the title, or the job.
The man and his heart and love are worth it. I’ll walk through hell for Elliot.
At least I now have a new nightmare to take away both the sound of the gunshots and the sound of Leo crying in my memories.
To know my boy is safe, though?
Again—worthit.
I don’t think that makes me a sociopath or a psychopath. I think it makes me a very protective owner who’d do anything to keep the man he loves safe for the good of the country.
Too self-aggrandizing?
Maybe.
Leo and Elliot can never know what I’ve done, the lengths I’ve gone to in the name of keeping him safe.
My poor boy.
I unbutton my blazer, remove it, and drape it over the back of Elliot’s chair. He’s in shirt sleeves but his cuffs are buttoned and his tie neatly tied. I lower myself into the chair he just vacated, a chair still warm from my boy’s gorgeous ass being planted in it. On the way, I snatch his tie with my right fist, pulling him with me as I wrap it around my hand to snug him up short.
I know I didn’t imagine that little moan I just heard.
Unless the mice in this place are having a noisy cheese-filled sex orgy, I’m pretty sure it was Elliot’s moan that softly floated through the room when I drew him between my thighs and pressed his face against my fly.
With my left hand, I cup the back of his head and gently massage. It’s become our thing, not just a Leo thing.
Actually, last week, I caught myself doing it to Leo while we were snuggling.
Funny, I know.
At least he understands. He didn’t spank me very hard for it, either.
Darn it.
I keep my voice low. “That’s it, Mister President. You can be whoever you need to be for everyone else, butIget you on your knees, don’t I?”
His arms slip around me, hands clutching my ass. “Yes, Sir,” his muffled reply floats to me.
I suspect he’s already deep in subspace.
Kev’s words come back to me and I realize he’s absolutely right.
I am Elliot’s Higher Power. Exactly the way that Leo is mine.
The way Leo was once Elliot’s.
I hope the three of us can make it through relatively unscathed on the other side. At this point, I know it’d shatter my heart to lose either of them. Turns out Leo wasn’t as crazy as I thought when he wanted us both back in the beginning.
I wasn’t ready then. Neither was Elliot.
It wouldn’t have worked for that very reason.
