She thought I was about to make fun of it.
I remember laughing it off, as if she was exactly right that I’d been about to ridicule it, and then I sadly put it back.
Message received, loud and clear.
Elliot smiles as he hangs my mermaid dead center in the front of the tree, where anyone can see it. “Then it belongs there. Place of honor.” He drapes an arm around me and nuzzles the top of my head. “Thank you, Sir.”
I look up into those gorgeous eyes of his. “For what?”
“Coming back.” He kisses me. “I can’t do this without you.”
Aww.“Yeah, well, if I’m so valuable, how about slipping me a hint of what Leo’s got planned for me for his ‘surprise.’”
He laughs. “Do Ilookstupid? Even if I knew, Master would have sworn me to secrecy.”
I have no clue what it is. All I know is it’ll be given to me or happen or whatever when we’re in California.
I mean, I know it’s not getting married,duh. Even if Leo tried that, I wouldn’t let him. Heneedsto marry Elliot. That’s the only way any of this works long-term.
If that golden ring is no longer there for Elliot to reach for, I don’t know what it’d do to him. He’d probably fully retreat into his fear and remain miserable for the rest of his life.
I’m used to living on the edges of the world, of blending in and remaining unnoticed.
Elliot doesn’t have that skill. He simply…withdraws. Hides in his closet.
I won’t let him do that and live in misery.
“You’re lucky I can’t beat it out of you,” I grouse as I slap his ass and return to my seat.
He laughs. “Oh, no, Sir.Pleasedon’t beat me.”
“Smart-ass.”
But, truth be told, I wouldn’t want him any other way.
* * * *
“I hope he’s going to be okay.” I’m staring out the airplane window as our jet prepares to take off. It’s two days before Christmas, and I’m missing Elliot already, even though I made love to him this morning before sending him off to work.
Leo squeezes my hand. “He’ll be okay. Not the first time we’ve left him alone.”
“It’s our true first Christmas together, though.” The night before last, Elliot and I privately celebrated together, at his request. He ordered from our favorite sushi restaurant, we ate in the den with nothing but the lights from the tree and the TV, exchanged presents, and then he gently took over and made love to me right there on the couch.
There was beautiful peace in his eyes as he stared down at me, something I rarely see there now except when Leo or I have him deep in subspace.
Looking into his eyes, it felt like the core of his soul lay exposed to me, allowing me to witness exactly what Leo fell in love with about him that first night so many years ago.
To protect these two men and what they have, I would kill or die for them.
I would. That’s not an exaggeration.
I understand exactly why Kev threw himself in front of Chris that horrible afternoon. I would do that for either one of them, too. In a heartbeat.
Except Leo now requires we both wear body armor for any public events happening outdoors. And he stepped up my firearms training. I don’t have a carry license, and couldn’t carry around Elliot even if I did have one, but Leo still wants me to be proficient.
Leo squeezes my hand again. “He’s the one who has to live inside his head, baby. We can’t do that for him. Maybe this year he’ll feel lonelier than ever, and it makes him want to change.”
I hear the blatant longing in his tone, and it breaks my heart even more.
