“When?” he growls. Yeah, it’s a growl, the sadist demanding an answer.
Irritation rolls through me and Elliot’s Sir growls right back. “I don’tfuckingknow, Leo. Kinda got a few things on my plate right now. Like making suremyboy’s presidential campaign doesn’t go tits-up because his fucking boyfriend abandoned him and fucked his brain and heart in the process and sabotaged all his life-long plans.”
There’s a moment of silence that makes me wonder if the call dropped, or if he hung up on me, before normal Leo’s voice is back. “I’d never sabotage him or his campaign. You know that. I love him, and I lo—”
“Donotfucking say it to me, Leo.Nottonight. You don’t get to say it to me. Not until I have time to talk to Elliot anddeal. I’mtellingyou what I need. You said you would never force me. Well, your time to drag me back to the cave expired when you ignored me formonths. When you sat there and let me leave in the first place instead of putting your foot down and ordering me to stay.”
He almost sounds…hurt. “Then tell me what you need from me. I’ll do it. Anything.” Now his quiet tone resembles the broken man whose tears I shut the door on that afternoon when I left the apartment for the final time.
“Iamtelling you—I needtime. Elliot’s fuckingbroken, Leo. You weren’t on that airplane with us, and you didn’t see that man at rock-fucking-bottom,beggingme to help him. I cannot tell you how fuckingangryI am at you for that, either. For letting him get that way. How fucking broken did Elliot have to be to reach out to theoneman he worried wouldstealthe love of his life from him?Youhaven’t been the onehere, becauseyouemotionally bailed on him. Months ago.
“I left so hewouldhave you, so he wouldn’t lose you, so he wouldn’t worry about you leaving him for me, and you fucking let him down, and let me down, too. Why thefuckdid I put myself through hell if all you were going to do was turn your back on him? Well, I made him a promise I’m damn well going to keep, regardless of whether or notyouare in the picture. I willalwaysput Elliot first. So back. The fuck. Off.”
He doesn’t respond for a long time. “Leo?”
“Yeah.”
“Are wecrystalclear on this point? That Iwillput Elliot first, and you can deal with that or walk away right now? Because I willnottolerate any bullshit from you about it.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry.”
Why is this hurting so badly? I’m trying to do the right thing, here. The smart thing. The adult thing.
The thought-through thing, instead of the insane, nearly died insta-fucking that blew our plans the first time around thing.
So why does it feel like a knife’s twisting in my guts?
Why does it feel like I can barelybreathe? “Is Elliot still awake?”
“No, he’s asleep. Are you close by?”
“I’m not telling you that. You don’t get to ask me those kinds of questions.”
So help me god, if I open Elliot’s office door and the fucker’s standingrightthere, I’ll shit myself.
I hear him take a ragged breath. “I don’t want to leave him alone any longer than necessary. At least give me an ETA. Please?”
This time of night, I will ask for a driver from the detail. And to Leo’s credit, heisputting Elliot first. “Fifteen, give or take.”
“I’ll wait ten after this call ends, then I’ll leave. When I leave, I’ll leave the light on in the entry, so you know I’m gone.”
“Thanks.” I take a deep breath and try to ratchet back the bitchiness. “Is he all right?”
“I apologized, but I think I’ll owe him a more in-depth one after you and I talk. We didn’t…talk very long.”
I silently curse myself. No, of course they didn’t talk for long. Maybe I should have forced myself to stay and intervene. Elliot was probably so damned happy to set eyes on the stalky fuck that there was a brief, maybe even tearful reunion, a quick apology, and then…
Struggle snuggle.
Wrestle fucking.
The boy will likely have bruises all over him andstillbe in subspace in the morning.
His next words are so soft I nearly don’t catch them. “I like the day collars. Matchies.”
My eyes squeeze closed, tears threatening at him using that sweet, playful word. A word he first invoked so many years ago.
I also side-step his meaning. “Yeah, well, I decided to go with what worked. It was one of my conditions to him, that he wear one for me.”
