I only want to be in charge of Elliot.
Mimi, I wish you could see me now. I hope you’d be proud of me.
I mean, I know she would. This is fricking overwhelming, but in a good way.
Meanwhile, I sip my coffee and stare at my secret boyfriend’s face as he listens and processes the intel they’re giving him and the president.
People are coming and going from the room—NSC, officers, intel staff—and it’s only so much background noise for me. Like those times in church when I sat there tuning out and staring at the rafters, thinking about architecture.
Until the door opens and I already know even from the peripheral glance I take. Even before I focus my gaze on him. I know his shape, I know his walk. With my eyes closed, I know how the very air feels as it changes when he moves through it.
I know everything about this man except how he’s going to react when he processes it’s me standing here.
He’s only three steps inside the briefing room before he pulls up short, frozen in place, his eyes wide as he stares at me.
Well,fuckme. Here we are.
I can’t bring myself to look him in the eyes right now, so my gaze stops around his chin, his lips, and I hold myself very, very still, like a hunted rabbit.
Ironically, we’re wearing the same tie today.
How aboutthatfor kismet?
“Leo,” Kev says, and that breaks his spell.
“Sir?”
“Grab a chair or wall, please, but you’re making me nervous and blocking traffic there.”
“Yes, sir. Sorry.”
I shift sideways, to my right, as Leo moves around the end of the table and toward me, until I’m standing almost behind Kev. I feel Leo’s gaze burning into me even more because I won’t look him in the eyes. He stops near the end of the conference table, finally. Not within arm’s reach or comfortable talking distance.
Nervously, I sip coffee from my travel mug.
That’s when Leo finally seems to process Elliot’s there, too. “Good morning, Mister Vice President.”
One of the military officers had just started talking again, and Elliot’s intently focused on him, so Elliot acknowledges Leo with a nearly dismissive wave.
God, please don’t let me faint right here.I couldn’t handle the embarrassment if I did.
At least I have Elliot to focus on. And he glances my way a couple of times, meeting my gaze, waiting until I look him in the eyes before he’ll let his focus shift elsewhere.
I think that’s how Leo finally starts to process and put pieces together, because I’m aware of his head snapping in Elliot’s direction while Elliot’s looking at me, then Leo slowly swivels his head toward me.
“Leo,” the president says. “Can you please bring me something for breakfast and tell the kids I’m sorry I won’t be there to tell them good-bye this morning?”
He’s still watching me. “Yes, ma’am.”
He finally leaves the room. As soon as he’s gone, I ease my way around the far end of the table and down the opposite wall, until I’m standing directly behind Elliot.
I know he’s paying attention to where I am, too, because he drops his right arm down next to his side, over the arm of his chair, like he’s stretching. But he twists his hand a little. Just enough I know what he’s doing.
One ofourcues. Something Leo never had with him, because Elliot never wore a day collar for Leo.
That’s the wrist on which he wears his bracelet. It’s the silent cue that tells me he’s aware of me and while focused on his job, he knows I’m there.
I tune out again. They’re starting to discuss details about the murder of the male journalist, the history of this particular insurgent cell, intel about their whereabouts, all of that.
