He’s meeting my gaze.
We’re not alone behind a locked door and he’s not in emotional agony.
His thumb stroking my hand, thewayit’s stroking me, reminds me of—
I blink back the tears that want to fall, which are currently pricking my eyes.
How he’s holding my hand, what he’s doing with his thumb, it’s Leo.
Of course it’s Leo.
How many times over the years has Leo done this with him, too?
Longer than Leo and I have been together.
Were.
Weretogether.
Nothave been.
Because we’renottogether right now.
Might never be together again.
“Jor,” he softly says as he squeezes my hand. “Please, talk to me.”
Struggling to control my breathing, I finally reply. Because I promised I’d be honest with him. “I’m just…having a moment. One ofthosekinds of moments. Sorry. I’ll be okay.”
I don’t have to explain what I mean.
He knows.
Of anyone, Elliot knows the best.
He still doesn’t release my hand. He squeezes again, still looking me in the eyes. “We’ll be home in a minute, Jor.” Names and titles used in certain situations for us are like rituals and protocols etched in stone. He’s willingly stepping out ofboymode to address me as Elliot and, in some ways, it’s a blessing.
In others, I feel like a failure.
“I know.” He’s not calling me Sir, and I feel guilty as hell about that. Even more guilty that I flat-out don’t have the strength to correct him right now and nudge him back into boy. I’m supposed to be the strong one for him.
But who’s going to be strong forme?
That’s why I’m trying to convince myself Leo’s not going to be in the picture like that for me anymore.
Hopefully, I’ll be more stable by the time Leo returns. So I don’t do something stupid like throw myself at him, get shot down, and then fall apart and be unable to take care of Elliot and fulfill my promise to him.
It’s with no small measure of relief we finally reach Number One Observatory Circle and the detail pulls up outside the front door. Only then does Elliot release my hand after one final squeeze.
I let him exit the SUV first, of course. Protocol dictates that.
Not a hardship, either. I can stare at his ass.
Yum.
He’s six-one, a couple of inches shorter than Leo, but he’s also built a little broader across the shoulders and slightly stockier. If Leo’s a slick, sleek panther, Elliot’s a muscular tiger. Since Elliot’s been VP, Leo’s gotten him into better quality suits, too. He was hot even before then.
Now?
