“We’re not going to rehash this every day, are we?”
“No, Sir.”
I stand, set my mug on the dresser next to his, and cup his face in my hands. Like this, I’m looking up at him, into those gorgeous blue eyes. I’ve studied pictures of him back then, when Leo first met him. I was only seventeen when they met and fell in love. While there are a few more lines on Elliot’s face than back then, he’s still strikingly handsome, with a boyish charm on full display when he smiles. Which is why I like him in glasses, because they help mask the lines at the outer edges of his eyes and make him look younger.
When Leo and Elliot met, Elliot was thirty-one, a newly elected congressman in his first term, had already held state office, and was a wounded, combat-hardened vet.
Leo was thirty-five, working for a private security contractor, retired from the Secret Service due to his injuries from the plane crash, and over twice my age back then.
Two lifetimes lived, compared to mine.
“El, I don’t hold anything against you from back then, if you don’t hold anything against me. Fresh slate. Deal?”
He nods. “Deal, Sir.”
I smile. That’s good enough. I rise up on my toes to kiss him. “Finish this, please, and I’ll make us something to eat. You can put on sweats and a T-shirt, if you want, before you come downstairs to join me.”
“Yes, Sir. Thank you.”
I opt to stay in his robe, and I carry my mug of coffee downstairs. I don’t want to think about my empty little apartment back in Florida, or all the things still in storage that I didn’t have the heart to get out and move to my apartment.
Like Christmas ornaments.
Last Christmas felt emotionally bleak and my apartment reflected that. I didn’t have the mental energy to retrieve my ornaments. Not even the little ceramic tree with colored lights on it.
Nothing.
I know it’s not healthy to place so much weight on another person’s presence in or absence from your life, but I think the person I was hating on most was myself.
For walking away.
I won’t walk away from Elliot, though, even if Leo doesn’t want to reconcile with me. Not until I’ve fulfilled my promise to him, at least.
So help me god.
