“Me, too, but I wish she hadn’t needed to give up so much throughout the years.”
* * * *
Joaquin wasn’t sure why Malyah seemed so…melancholy this morning. He’d thought certainly Nami’s baby shower would have had her in a joyful mood.
At one point in the festivities, Joaquin stepped out to the kitchen to pour himself another cup of coffee just to find Reggie standing there sipping one of his own.
“I thought you’d be out there,” Joaquin said as he moved to pour himself a cup.
Reggie shrugged, smiling a little. He kept his voice down. “I’m all right. Just that Lu’ana’s been hinting around she wants to have another baby.”
This was news to Joaquin. Malyah hadn’t said anything to him about that. “She is?”
He nodded. “Yeah.” He glanced out the kitchen doorway before turning to Joaquin and dropping his voice to a whisper. “I love Bebe but, I gotta say, I’m not ready to become a dad again right now. Or maybe ever.”
Joaquin slowly nodded.
“I mean,” he quickly continued, “she is myworld, right? Both of them are. I would kill or die for my daughter or my wife. But does it make me a horrible husband and father to only want one child?”
Joaquin wrapped both hands around his mug and slowly sipped to buy himself a little time. “I think it makes you human, and very self-aware to know that.”
“We’re just finally starting to get ahead on bills again,” he continued. “For the first time in a long time, we’ve got a decent cushion built up in savings. Even with our good health insurance, having a baby’s a lot of dang money.”
“I take it she doesn’t know you feel this way?”
“I mean, when we first got together, I thought I wanted more kids. But the older Bebe gets, the more I just want to focus on beingherdad, you know? I don’t want to try to split time between more kids. And it’s not like she’ll grow up alone. She’ll have lots of cousins, I’m sure, between Nami’s baby, and Dewi’s, and any kids you two have.”
Joaquin supposed he didn’t reply fast enough, because Reggie’s head tilted. “Y’all are having kids, right?”
“Eventually. Not right now. Malyah wants to wait.”
They stood there for a moment, listening to the happy chatter two rooms over.
“You need to tell her sooner rather than later,” Joaquin finally counseled. “Don’t wait. You’ll disappoint her if you do.”
“I’m thinking about getting a vasectomy.”
Now they were in the weeds. “Again, have you talked to her about this?”
“That was the eventual plan. To have kids, and then I’d get snipped so she wouldn’t have to worry about birth control.” He sighed. “I’m just…I’m almost afraid to have sex with her right now, because I don’t want her getting pregnant.”
“Oh, man. Youreallyneed to talk to her, then. Soon.”
“Plus, she’s up for a promotion at work soon. She gets pregnant, I guarantee you they’ll probably pass her over. I don’t want her career to suffer because of a baby.”
Joaquin was starting to realize he was Reggie’s sounding board, a “safe” person to talk to in his attempt to try to work it out in his head.
“My momma is up myassfor more grandbabies, too,” he continued. “I have two brothers, and they each have three. My oldest brother has a two-month-old. You think she’d be happy with that. No. ‘Reggie, why don’t that baby have a brother or sister yet?’” He snorted. “I can already tell Bebe will be a handful. I mean, she’s doing the same thing one of my little cousins is doing on my dad’s side. She’s almost six. Runs around, barking like a dog, just like Bebe’s doing. They’re having trouble keeping her in kindergarten now. She actually bit one of her classmates two days before Christmas break.”
Joaquin froze. “She did?” This was news to him. He knew Badger was still trying to trace Reggie’s lineage.
“Yeah. Found out on Christmas when I called him to say hello. He told me then. You think Momma would say something to me about that, but noooo.” He shook his head and took another sip of coffee. “And they got twins younger than her.”
Joaquin knew he’d get grilled by Badger later, so he tried to stay cool. “On your dad’s side, huh?”
“Yeah. Uncle Archie’s son, Earl.” He smiled. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to toss family drama at you.”
“No, it’s fine. We are family.”
