I take a moment to formulate my response. I don’t want to lie to him. “Pet, it’s late, and I’m exhausted. I love you. I’ve never lied to you that I love him.” I force back the tenacious and stinging prickle of tears. “It’s still fresh, and it still hurts, and I need time to heal before I can talk about it. Even with you.Please.” I kiss him. “Whatwouldmake me feel better right now is you letting me take care of you.”
He stares into my eyes again. “I thought I was supposed to take care of you, Master.”
Running my fingers through his hair is soothing to both of us for different reasons, I’m sure. “You’re supposed to be my good boy and do what I ask of you. Be obedient. I’ve missed you, pet. Tonight, I want to just be here, with you, focused onyou. I’m not ready to deal with anything else right now.”
“Are you still in contact with him?”
“We’ve texted a few times.”
“Is he really coming back when he finishes his master’s?”
I sigh. “I don’t know.”
“Do you want him to come back?”
“I want him to be happy. And I want you to be happy, pet. That’s all I want for either of you.”
Those blue eyes of his. Man, they nail me deep in my soul every time. “But areyouhappy, Master?”
My answer is absolutely the truth. “I am with you right now, pet. And that makes meveryhappy. Please, I don’t want to talk about Jordan tonight. I want to be with you, and focus on you, and take care of you.That’swhat would make me most happy right now, because I love you.”
He finally reaches up and laces fingers with my hand, the one buried in his hair, and squeezes. “I love you, too, Master.”
I kiss him, taking my time, waiting to do anything else until I finally feel his brain disengage a little. Only then do I sit him up and start unbuttoning his shirt. I slowly undress him, using this familiar ritual to reconnect with him. Then I let him undress me so I can help him into the bathroom. There’s a large soaking tub in this suite, so I put us in that instead of the shower, keeping an arm around him all the way into the bathroom even though he’s using his walker.
I let the tub fill and we soak, holding each other, not speaking. That’s when he spies the lube where I left it on the edge of the tub. He picks it up and, a moment later, he’s straddling my lap, kissing me, my cock buried inside him. I stare up at him and slant my lips over his as he rides me hard.
This pure, sweet moment isusat our best. Not the only thing that makes us good but it’s one of the few things between us that’s always been easy and effortless.
He braces his hands on the edge of the tub on either side of me while I cup his ass in my hands and kiss him. At this angle, his cock’s trapped between us and he can get traction against my body. I let him set the pace, and kiss him, and try not to think about the way Jordan used to love riding me exactly like this.
I stare up into his eyes even as we’re kissing and fucking, and for these few, sweet minutes I can pretend that I don’t have to share my pet with the world. That Elliot’s only mine, and that he only wants to be mine.
Because for every time he thinks he’s sacrificing himself by offering to back away fromus, it kills me a little inside. The other option is for him to claim me every bit as much as I claim him, even if not publicly.
To simply give me a life-long commitment, secret or not.
And he can’t.
All he has to do is do that.
But I won’t confront him with that. I won’t force him to do it.
He needs to want it and ask me for it. He damn well knows my terms.
I savor the feel of his flesh in my hands, the pleasure building within me as his body grips and strokes me.
This moment is our temporary universe.
“Come for me, baby,” I whisper against his lips. “Give it to me.” I want to hold off, to let him come first.
From the glazed look in his eyes, I know he’s not only starting the climb but he’s deep in subspace. He’s chosen to dive deep instead of thinking about uncomfortable truths.
For tonight, that’s okay. My preference, too, right now.
His body tenses around me and I know he’s at the edge. I dig my fingers into his ass and thrust up into him, hard, sucking on his lower lip as he explodes. I quit holding back and take over, thrusting hard into him until I spill and join him and can finally…melt.
Sliding my hands up his back, I pull him in and hold him pressed against me. “I love you, pet.”
