For the first time since we’ve started this, I see true hope flare in his eyes, and it breaks my heart.
Because it perfectly illustrates his default mode, which is completely anchored in fear. Anchored as securely as whatever the hell is keeping the Washington Monument vertical.
I hope he doesn’t shatter my heart in the process because of those tethers to a way of life he doesn’t seem able to break free of.
“Everywhere?”
“Yeah. Body man gets full access. Maybe not in the SitRoom sometimes, or during the PDB, but in the White House, the residence, on Air Force One—everywhereyousay I can be.”
I feel the subtle shift in him, letting go to me, relaxing a little. “That would be awesome.”
“Right?” I pull him in for another kiss. Yep, I feel him grow more pliant, molding his body against mine. “Then I canfinallyhavemydream job.”
He looks adorably confused.
“Taking care ofmypet 24/7/365.” He smiles again at my words. “Buddy, I love you. You know my only requirement. I won’t push you to ask me, and I won’t demand and take it from you. I know you’re not ready right now. It’s all right.”
His head rests on my shoulder. “Why do you put up with me, Master?” he mumbles.
I massage the back of his head with my hand. “Because I love you, pet.” I close my eyes and deeply inhale his warm scent. “Because you’remypet, I love you, and I’m averypatient man.”
These three statements are completely true.
He’smypet, and I have dedicated myself to loving and caring for him as much as he’ll let me, because he needs me. I am the keeper of his secrets, the tender of his sanity, and the mender of his soul.
I love this man with all my heart, which is why I’m still here when anyone else probably would have given up and walked away in frustration years ago.
Also, I am a very patient man. I had to be, working The Shift. There were times of unbelievable tedium, where all I could do was be patient and wait, because that was myjob.
We move into the bedroom where I help him get naked and remove Duck so he can finally drop to his knees and press his forehead to the tops of my feet.
His reset.
I now have an inexpensive folding walker I keep for him at my apartment, and a shower bench. It’s for safety and makes life easier on him moving around here. He won’t put clothes on again until just before he’s ready to leave late Monday morning, because he doesn’t have to be in the office until almost noon.
I’ve staged them already, the walker on the other side of the bed, where I can reach it to hand it to him, and the bench is in the tub.
I pull his leather collar from my pocket and lean over. “Pet.”
He lifts his head, sees what’s in my hand, and without prompting kisses the collar so I can buckle it around his throat.
Lately, I haven’t pushed the idea of a day collar, even though I’ve mentioned it from time to time. If I can’t trust him to be honest with me, something for him to wear that will stress him out more than it comforts him certainly won’t help any.
All he has to do is ask for one, and he knows this.
Maybe that makes me a dumbass, for hoping he will ask one day, but there you have it. I’ll own that.
I let Elliot kneel there for another couple of minutes so he can relax and center himself. Sure, I’d love to have my cock buried inside him right now, but my poor pet needs this time, even if his current condition is mostly self-inflicted.
He takes a long, deep breath and slowly lets it out as my eyes trace every bump and ridge along his spine, where it curves down to his gorgeous ass. He’s been running more lately, on a treadmill, working out several days a week, and it shows. He’s developing lean muscles that I love tracing with my fingers and tongue while I have him blindfolded and securely bound to my bed. He’s no longer a hardened soldier but a little of the extra softness around his middle has melted away.
And I’m the only one who gets to appreciate him like this.
It’s a damned heady feeling, let me tell you what.
When I softly snap my fingers, he smoothly sits up and rests his head against me. I’m still dressed because this is part of our ritual. I stroke his head with both hands as he kneels there, my good boy.
“I love you, pet.”
