I also have a framed copy of the holiday card sitting on my dresser. But, right now, thinking about those holiday cards—that it’s the only “public” photograph I have of me and Elliot together, and it’s not even ofjustus—leaves me feeling bitter and…mean.
Or maybe that’s the Grey Goose slamming into my liver and brain like a cheesy small-town flea-market wrestling act.
Dark.
Midnight. Ink. Coal.
Sewers and ancient, crumbling catacombs full of rotted corpses.
I tip my head back and drain the mug, leave it sitting on my dresser, and go take a shower. I should have gone for a run today, or at least worked out downstairs to burn off some of these dark and ugly thoughts, but I really don’t want to be around people right now.
I try not to think about the alternate universe where Jordan and I probably went grocery shopping this afternoon, then cooked dinner together and made love before falling into an exhausted sleep ahead of a busy Monday at work tomorrow.
I try not to think about the alternate universe where Elliot didn’t accept Shae’s request to join the ticket, didn’t run for re-election to the House, and it was him and me doing all those things today because he is no longer an elected official. Where, between my savings and my job, we have more than enough money to support both of us, meaning he can stay home and take care of me and be nothing more thanmine.
I try not to think about the alternate universe where it’s me and ElliotandJordan in a happy triad, my two boys joking around with each other while I proudly watch them being together and know that I’m the luckiest man alive.
Standing there alone in my shower, I close my eyes. In the self-imposed darkness, I let the water beat over my head while tears run down my cheeks before being washed away.
Chapter Five
Then
I grab Elliot by his tie and wrap it around my fist, tugging so he’s forced to dip his knees and look up at me.
I pause for dramatic effect. “I have no interest in forcing you to do something, unless youwantto be forced. If that’s the case, I need you totellme that. If at any time you need me to stop or slow down, you sayredoryellow. Understand?”
He nods. “Yes, Sir.”
I head for my bedroom with Elliot in tow, barely giving him time to follow me. I want the boy mentally off-balance while I blow his mind.
And his cock.
I haven’t been laid in too damn long. It’s been way longer than that since I’ve been able to have any kind of emotionally satisfying scene.
My last partner was absolutely a ten, but he was closer to vanilla than kinky. This man makes him look like a gangrenous slug in comparison.
There’s something about Elliot Woodley that’s already dug deep under my skin, and I don’t even have his clothes off yet.
That’ll happen soon enough.
Smiling, I snap my fingers and point at the floor at the end of my bed. He looks down, then up at me as if he’s unsure.
“Down, boy. On your knees.”
“I…” He swallows, his cheeks growing red. “May I sit, Sir? Kneeling’s hard with this particular leg.”
I immediately feel like a shit and pull him in for a long, sweet kiss. I use the distraction to back him toward the bed and lower him onto the end of that instead.
Then I drop to my knees and smile up at him. “Let me start over, boy. Eyes on me, or I’ll stop.” I unfasten his slacks and am happy to find his gorgeous cock hard and eagerly pressing against his zipper through his briefs. I’m watching his face as I free him and wrap my fingers around his uncircumcised cock, slowly easing his foreskin back.
He shivers.
Fuckingshivers.
I wish I could make this moment last forever. I slowly swirl my tongue around the head of his cock and savor the taste of his pre-cum. His hands fist the covers as he watches me go down on him.
Oh, he’smine.
