This was a mistake for a bunch of reasons. Except I can’t take any of it back. Now, we can only move forward.
He’s going to have some nice marks by morning.
Mymarks.
I lift my mouth from his and stare down into his eyes for a too-short forever. “Youhaveto be okay sharing me. And you can’t be with anyone except me. Not to be an asshole, but we can’t risk it for a lot of reasons.”
Except if he leaves DC and returns to Tallahassee, that’ll be moot, I suppose. At least, for now, he doesn’t know Elliot’s name. He can make a lot of educated guesses based on what I’ve already revealed to him but there’s nothing concrete. Noproof.
That makes me sad for reasons I can’t stop to unpack right now.
He meets my gaze with a steady one of his own. “Yes, Sir. I’m okay with that.” Then, he shocks me with a whisper. “It’s Elliot, isn’t it?”
My clever, clever boy. I’m not going to deny it, but I won’t tell him yet, either. “You signed an NDA.”
He nods. “Yes, Sir.”
I study him. “I cannot confirm anything yet. There are a lot of secrets for you to keep if you stay with me. I’ll always protect you. But if you burn me, or anyone else involved in this administration, I can and will ruin you and your reputation for life. I’ll never threaten you to keep you with me. I have no interest in that. You are always free to leave, because I have zero interest in forcing you to stay. But trust has to be earned, just like I expect to have to work to earn and keep your trust. Show me you mean what you say. Let me trust you by your actions.”
A sweet ferocity fills his expression. “I keep my word, Sir. No one will ever find out from me, I swear. I know words are worthless, but I’ll prove it to you, that you can trust me.”
Losing myself in another kiss with him sealsmyfate. Elliot won’t be happy with this development but I’m too far past that point to care. At least, I am inthismoment. Hating myself can happen later.
Because for the first time in years, I feel…light.
Loving Elliot isn’teasyfor a lot of reasons that would be so much easier to deal with if I could atleastsleep in the same damn bed with him most nights. I have few chances to recharge myself mentally or emotionally, and it gets more difficult every time to reclaim myself after giving everything I have to Elliot. I’m digging dirt from the bottom of an empty well while looking for a hidden spring.
Jordan’s already hard again. Damn, to be that age. I shove him against the shower wall and drop to my knees in front of him to swallow his cock. I want to taste him, want to make him as much a part of me as I now am of him. I don’t just suck his cock, either. He’s circumcised, and I get different reactions from him with I play with him versus Elliot. I nip and bite and suck his flesh around the base of his cock, play with his balls, which adorably hang snug and high instead of loose and low, like Elliot’s. I graze my teeth over the head of his cock and edge him with my mouth until he’s whimpering and begging me to please let him come.
I could be an asshole and ruin his orgasm, sadistically laugh and make him beg to be built up and released again, but no.
Jordan isn’t like Elliot. He’s sweet and pure and bright, and the darkest shadows of my sadist can remain hidden, while the playful part of me I rarely get to exercise with Elliot can finally be unleashed. We rarely have time for fun and playful when Elliot and I are together. He needs it hard, fast, and filling every second we can steal.
I can take my time with Jordan.
I do, however, slide a finger inside him and find my target, playing with it as I lick and suck his cock and bring him over so I can swallow every last drop he spills. He looks like a man possessed, his eyes literally rolling back in his head as his fingers dig into my shoulders, his whole body trembling until I finally ease up and release his cock from my mouth and withdraw my finger.
“Holy shit,” he whispers, sliding down the wall to messily slump in front of me in the bottom of my tub. There’s unmistakable amazement in his gaze as he stares at me. “Fuuuuck!”
Yeah, I’m cocky. Sue me. “Good?”
He nods.
My smile widens. “Better than your toys, I hope?”
He grabs my head and kisses me. The boy’s quickly learning how to kiss, I’ll give him credit for that. I could tell he wasn’t experienced the first couple of times, but as with everything else Jordan does, he’s got a natural talent for picking things up rapidly.
This’ll be fun.
It’s late, and I’m exhausted. After we finish cleaning up we head to bed. There’s something to be said about being able to turn off the alarms on your phone and fall asleep snuggling with a hot guy who’s adorably into you.
I’m nearly asleep when I remembered I was going to try to go over to Elliot’s tomorrow to help him pack.
I could be a total dick and bring Jordan. Hell, it’s kind of Jordan’sjob, right? Helping with the move?
That’s a step too far at this point, I think.
Especially since I need to have a conversation with Elliot about this as soon as possible.
