It’s time for me to stop wishing for things that will likely never come true. I know there’s a far better chance than I’d like to admit that Elliot’s already decided to break up with me but can’t bring himself to do it yet.
If that’s the case, then maybe it is better I’ve met Jordan.
I will never regret my time with Elliot. I’ll never take a minute with him for granted.
I only hope whatever’s in store for me happens sooner rather than later. I’m tired of feeling like I’m living my life in neutral with the gas pedal shoved to the floor. Sooner or later, it’s going to kick into gear.
And I’ll need to hold on tight when it does.
Chapter Thirty-One
Two sides of me wage war all day Saturday. There’s Leo Cruz, who’s trying to be professional as I slog through my to-do list in the office.
Then there’s Sir, who wants to put Jordan on his knees and make him promise not to be foolish and to take a cab to the club tonight.
Except we really haven’t settled anything between us other than we’re both interested in delving deeper and spending more time together. We don’t have time to talk in the office. There’s too many people around, for starters. Plus, Jordan headed out of the office early with a Secret Service agent so he could go look at more furniture at the warehouse. The agent will drop him at his hotel once Jordan’s finished.
Early that evening, I ride with Elliot from the office to his apartment ahead of the dinner. We haven’t had a chance to talk privately before now.
We’re alone in the back of the car. “How was dinner last night?” he asks.
I slowly nod. “We talked. We’re still talking.”
He looks away, outside, and I reach over and touch his thigh. He finally looks at me again.
“Tell me no,” I whisper. “Say the word.” I sound like a broken record. I should stop asking him to stop me. I know damn well he won’t, and it hurts like hell.
He sadly smiles and looks out the window again.
At his place, once we’re alone inside his apartment and locked in his bedroom, I fist his hair and kiss him while I back him over to his bed so I can help him get undressed.
I also leave several bite marks on him, quickly suck an orgasm out of him, and basically drop him deep into subspace before I even get him to the shower.
Then I undress and jump into the shower with him and hold him.
“What about you, Master?” he whispers.
“What about me, pet?” He looks up at me as I smile down at him. “I’m not the one under orgasm restrictions. I’m sure I’ll go home tonight and think about you while I’m jerking off.”
But my defiant pet doesn’t relent, even though, normally, he’d be hyper-aware of the time and worried about being late. He goes down on me and quickly gets me off, almost looking triumphant afterward.
Of course I’m going to let him do it. For once, I feel wanted. The fact that I know it’s his jealousy coming forward is something I willfully ignore.
We manage to get him ready on time and I put on the same clothes. It’s not a formal event, and I’m not on center stage tonight.
Before I unlock his bedroom door, I pull him into my arms and kiss him one last time. “Love you, pet.”
He smiles, looking happy. “Love you, too, Master.”
Then we head out. Once we arrive, we go our separate ways, because Elliot’s staffers who are in attendance catch up with him and I’m working with Shae.
That’s when I finally remember Jordan, and the fact that he’s going to the club tonight. I looked up the club today, after he left. It’s not in a great part of town.
Fuck.
I’m jittery as hell all evening and of course Shae notices. She motions me over to her table once the food’s been served and everyone’s distracted with eating. Elliot and Chris are eating at different tables with other families.
Shae motions for me to lean in close so she can hold up her hand and whisper in my ear. “You all right?”
