Then again, there have been countless times over these last two weeks where we said nearly the exact same thing at the same time.
When I tell you things with Jordan areeasy, I’m not exaggerating. I feel comfortable around him, and I can see him interacting in a different way with me than he does with others.
Part of me wants to take him upstairs and make love to him right now.
That would be…reckless.
Stupid.
Risking my career and reputation on an indiscretion.
Anotherindiscretion, if you count Elliot.
I glance around and drop my voice. “It’s complicated. Not impossibly so. That complication is mostly on my end.”
“You need permission?” The slight lilt in his voice speaks to friendly teasing, not irritation.
“Ihavepermission. I also need to be cautious.” I level my gaze at him and prop my left elbow on the table, my hand nonchalantly positioned like I’m bracing my chin in my palm.
What I’m doing is blocking the view of my mouth with my fingers, on the chance we’re being watched by anyone. I drop my voice to a whisper. “I could take you upstairs right now and fuck your brains out and not be violating any trusts, if I thought that’d be a good idea tonight.”
His eyes widen as he nervously flicks his tongue and licks his lips. “Oh.”
Ahhh, finally.I have found something to shake his personal confidence. Or shake the excellent veneer he’s put forth so far.
I keep my voice low and my hand in place. “But we need to have private discussions on that first. May I cook you dinner tomorrow night?”
He swallows and eagerly nods, making me smile and making my sadist very, very happy. I’d prefer to do this on Saturday, except Shae has an event Saturday night, and I need to be there.
“I’m not looking for a quick fuck,” I continue. “Tomorrow night isjustdinner, so we can talk. You might not be so eager to level up with me once you get to know me better.”
Those long, elegant fingers wrap around his martini glass and he lifts it, taking a sip, his gaze locked on mine. “I find that hard to believe.”
“Here’s something for you to chew on. Hypothetically, what if you can never talk to anyone about a goodly chunk of your personal life?”
“I can keep a secret.”
“This isn’t only about secrets. This is aboutlives. This is about you being close, in many ways, to the woman who will have access to our nation’s nuclear arsenal.” I decide to toss out this little nugget. “And you’ll have to make a decision about staying here in DC or returning to Florida.”
From the way he blinks and scowls a little, I can tell we’re straying outside his comfort zone. His eyebrows arch. “Staying here?”
“There will be a lot of positions to staff once she takes office. That’s not a quid pro quo, either. If you want to stay in DC and don’t want a relationship with me, I’d still see about finding you a job.”
Looks like the possibility is hitting him for the first time. “I…I honestly hadn’t thought quite that far ahead.” He takes another sip of his drink. The way his hand trembles a little as he does lets me think that maybe he has thought that far ahead, but he also thought it was an impossibility, consigned to the realm of bedtime or shower fantasies.
Dropping my hand, I pick up my fork. “That’s why I want to cook you dinner tomorrow.” I smile. “Because I don’t play those kinds of games.”
We finish dinner and I opt to walk him up to his room. I’m sure he can make it on his own, and he doesn’t seem drunk from the one drink, but I can see the problem already.
I’m now thinking about him asmine, and I want to make sure he gets there safely.
When he unlocks his door and steps inside, he turns, so close I could easily pull him to me and kiss him. “In case you weren’t sure,” he softly says, “Iaminterested. I asked you. I don’t consider this sexual harassment or anything, if that’s a worry. I’d tell you if I thought it was. If I step over a line with you, tell me.”
I rest my arm against the door frame and smile down at him. “If you had, I already would have reeled you in.”
Passion and need are flowing between us, swirling like a thickening fog.
Just like that first night with Elliot.
