I hate that they look uncertain. I wish I could eliminate that fear from them and show them how much I love them.
“Perhaps one day,” they finally say. “Not yet. I do not wish for you to have regrets about what we are doing. We have not yet done anything that cannot be taken back.”
I nuzzle my nose against theirs. “Wrong. I won’t take back any of what we’ve done or said to each other. I treasure every minute we’ve had together. I won’t let you take any of that away from me, ever. Because it’s part of my heart and soul now, the way you are part of my heart and soul.”
* * * *
We spend the rest of that morning, afternoon, and most of the night in bed together. I lose count of how many times we’ve come. I would order food be delivered to us, but they are insisting on buying the next meal we have.
So we end up cooking so we don’t starve to death. We’re going to shoot for breakfast tomorrow morning.
Then we’ll hit the store and stock up so we don’t have to leave their apartment any time soon.
I’m still tempted to call the captain and give him my notice, but that seems a little too much for Olarte to deal with right now. I don’t want to overwhelm them, either.
Thus, I know I’ll be making one more run, at least.
I spend the entire three weeks we’re there with Olarte. They take off extra time from work, and we go down to Pfahrn.
I meet their family.
And for the first time since I was a kid, I feel like I’mpartof a family. I worried they might be standoffish, since I’m a human, but they were all very nice and welcoming. I get to cook dinners with them, and they don’t tease me too badly about how bad a job I do of that.
We’re on a shuttle on our way back to the space station, holding hands and with my head tipped over against Olarte when I quietly say it.
“Tell me to quit. I won’t ever make you quit, if you don’t want to, but ask me to quit and stay here with you.”
They sigh into my hair, where they’re rubbing their face against the top of my head. “I cannot in good conscience ask that of you, Davies. Not right now. I would not feel right asking that of you yet. It is far too soon for that conversation.”
“Two years, Olarte. I’ve had two years to get to know you. I know you’re who I want to spend the rest of my life with.” Fear fills me. “Unless you aren’t sure how you feel about me?”
“I am certain I love you. But let us have a little time in this way first. I am still not certain I can enter a mating contract without a physical contract, and you are not yet certain you can sign one.”
“I’ll sign one right now.”
They sigh again. “That is your emotions speaking for you.”
“Damn right, it is.”
“We have time. I am content in this moment, knowing you are eager to be with me. Let that be enough, for now. I wish for us to have forever together, but I know if we rush things it might not end well. Please let this be enough for a little while longer.”
It’s not enough for me, but I can’t force myself on them.
Sure, I should be grateful for this much, but now that I have it, I want everything.
Even the logistics isn’t that big a deal between us. No, I can’t take their cock up my ass, but I can squeeze my thighs together around it and they can fuck me like that. My cock is a little too small to really do much for them if I fuck their pouch, but I can gently play with them by inserting my hand up there and make their eyes roll back in their head like that.
We get by. We make do.
I’ll be making a call to Dr. H’looder in the near future, I know. Because I want those damned augmentations.
The night before I have to return to the ship, we make love and I fall asleep draped over their chest.
If it wasn’t for the way Olarte gently awakens me the next morning, I might say fuck it all, quit, and curl up and go back to sleep.
Yeah, that’d be a little bit of a dick move at this point, since we’re slated to leave, but still, we’re at an official Maxim Colonies station. My contract allows it.
“You have an obligation,” Olarte gently reminds me. “It is all right, love. I will be here waiting for you when you return.” They smile. “I will make sure I stock up on groceries.”
