Chapter Fifteen
Zoey
The week after Lucas moved in with us, my attorney filed a motion to modify custody with Lucas. Because it wasn’t an emergency, like in Katie’s situation, it wound its way through normal channels. Bill didn’t respond to the motion in time, despite his attorney receiving the paperwork and my attorney having Bill served at home.
That means, ironically, we’re now at about the same place in the process Nolan is, because of his case’s expedited timeline, and we now have the same judge. The judge who originally presided over my divorce moved on years ago.
Three agonizingly tense days later, it’s all over in both cases.
That Friday morning, Nolan and I both hold in our hands signed modification orders giving us full and primary custody of our respective children.
This calls for a celebration.
But we’ll have to delay that for a little while, because next week is the last week of school before summer vacation for both kids, and things are somewhat hectic.
At least now we can enjoy summer vacation and make plans without worrying about juggling logistics with Jerilyn. Especially after she’d griped a few weeks back that Nolan had enrolled Katie in a STEAM-focused day camp program that would teach her coding, robotics, and other skills.
A day camp we had paid for completely, and didn’t ask Jerilyn to chip in for at all.
Fortunately for us, we have two dependable teen boys with driver’s licenses who can take Katie to day camp and watch her in the afternoons while the three of us are at work.
They can also babysit for us at the evenings. Meaning we delay our celebration until the Saturday night after school ends, when the three of us can relax and enjoy things.
Meanwhile, as a result of the video being posted, Caine found the courage to come out to his parents over dinner at our house last weekend. As we’d hoped, they were fine with it and hugged both boys, meaning the final “big” secret weighing us and Lucas down has evaporated, along with fear and dread.
I let Lucas, Caine, and Katie put in an online order for dinner. Katie wanted pastaandpizza, so I told her to go for it and pick whatever she wanted. The pizza place has both, and they deliver.
Tonight is special. The kids have a loaded Crunchyroll queue that Nolan’s already signed off on to start Katie’s big-brother education about all things anime, and both boys are looking forward to spending time with her and each other.
I trust them to take care of her.
Meaning the three of us can take a night off forus. We can focus on making sure we’re solid and stay that way.
Weneedtime like this to nourish us and our relationship.
There’s nothing standing in our way now except us.
No one to blame if we fail except us.
I want to set a good example for our kids. I want them to see a healthy dynamic between the three of us, and between each of us as three couples.
I want Lucas and Caine to see a healthy relationship between Arlo and Nolan, something to emulate and aspire to.
I want Katie to understand what’s healthy and to stand up for herself regardless of what she discovers about herself as she gets older. I want her to love herself first so she doesn’t make the same mistakes Nolan and I did with our first spouses.
I don’t want her to get stuck in a relationship because she feels she has to be in it.
If there’s any takeaway we can give them, it’s how to love honestly, authentically, and to put themselves first in healthy ways. To learn to set boundaries.
Once the food arrives, we get in the car and head out. Tonight, we have reservations at a restaurant on Manasota Key, across the road from the beach. It’s supposed to be a nearly full moon tonight, and I’ve been promised a walk on the beach after dinner.
I want to walk in the surf and hold my men’s hands. I decided tonight to wear a fun and flirty, full, red three-tiered skirt that swirls around me with every step, and strappy, heeled sandals I know make my men hard when they watch me walk in them.
Tonight, Nolan’s taken charge—of deciding where we’ll eat, of the reservations, of our plans. There’s a gentle fluidity between us that ebbs and flows like the tide. If one or more of us needs a mental break, there’s one—or more—of us to step into a leadership role and take charge of our family’s rudder. But there’s no dictator, no Captain Bligh.
Nolan drives tonight. I opt for the backseat because I love watching my men together. I love the way they hold hands while Nolan’s driving, the way Arlo watches him and smiles as they talk. I never feel left out. I feel like I’m getting a glimpse of their past, a time capsule, an honest look of their history that wouldn’t otherwise be accessible to me.
I can picture them as boys, fumbling and stumbling their way around a relationship and keeping their secrets. I can imagine them in college, frustrated over life and yearning to be together despite what they thought was “right.” Especially Nolan.
