In case the narcissist tries for revisionist history.
It absolutely guts me when Katie starts crying.
“I don’twantto move,” she says. “I don’twantto leave my friends, or school, or you and Aunt Zoey and Uncle Arlo or Lucas!”
“You don’t have to, sweetheart. I’ve already talked to my lawyer. We made Mommy sign a piece of paper admitting she lied, and saying that you will live with us full-time now.”
Zoey hands her a tissue and she wipes her eyes with it. I still don’t interrupt her. “Where is she going?” Katie asks.
“California. It’s several thousand miles away.”
“Why did she lie?”
“Because Mommy…” I sigh. “Because some people have trouble with the truth,” I tell her. “They weren’t raised like I was raised, or like I’m raising you. They lie to get what they want, even if they have to hurt people to do it. That’s why lying is bad, because youcanhurt people.”
“I don’t have to move?”
“No, sweetheart. In fact, friends of Uncle Arlo, and my attorney, are getting the rest of your things from Mommy’s place tonight and will bring them here. You’re not ever going back to Mommy’s. The next time you move, it’ll be when all of us move into the new house, once it’s built.”
She asks me to play the video again. This is a hard, sad lesson to teach my little girl, but maybe it will help inoculate her against the narcissist’s damage and be far less painful for her in the long run.
I can only hope.
After she watches it a second time, I set my phone aside. “Lucas did something very smart and thought to film Mommy when she showed up because he knew Mommy was a liar. Then he posted it on Facebook, and alotof people saw the video before he took it down.”
“Why’d he take it down?” She looks angry. “It’s not nice what she did! People should know she lied!”
“Because I agreed for it to be taken down when Mommy signed the papers that she wouldn’t take you to California. But there’s a chance other parents saw it. I’m telling you all of this in case someone asks you about it, or says something to you about it. I wanted you to know what happened. I don’t want to lie to you.”
She sniffles and climbs into my lap to hug me. “Okay.”
“I’m going to take you to school in the morning and talk to the office. I need to show them the paperwork to have them take Mommy off the list of people who are allowed to pick you up. Youhaveto promise me if Mommy tries to pick you up, and I haven’t told you ahead of time that it’s okay, you can’t go with her, no matter what she says.”
She nods. “I promise. She could lie about me, too.”
I really don’t want to go there. Not tonight. “I don’t know, sweetheart. The only people allowed to pick you up from school are me, Aunt Zoey, Uncle Arlo, and Lucas. Understand? If anyone else tries to pick you up from school, and I didn’t tell you ahead of time that it’s okay, no matter what they say, donotgo with them. Run and scream and get a teacher.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
“Promise me.”
She nods. “I promise.”
I look at Arlo, then his phone, and he groks what I want. He stops filming. “I also need to tell you something else,” I say, “but you know how we have good secrets and bad secrets?”
She nods.
“What’s a good secret?”
Finally, the hint of a smile. “Birthday parties and presents,” she says. “Fun surprises.”
“What else did we say is a good secret?”
She thinks about it. “Money stuff. Work stuff. Family business stuff.”
“What’s a bad secret?”
Her expression darkens again. “Bad touches. Lying and hurting someone.”
