We find Zoey’s already home. She greets me at the door. “Haven’t said anything to her,” she whispers. “Just told her Daddy had to run some errands.”
I nod and Lucas continues inside, intercepting Katie to swing her up and around, making her squeal with laughter before he hugs her and sets her down.
Yes, he loves his little sister. And she absolutely is a little sister to him.
What Jerilyn wanted to do was…
Well, it was literallyevil.
That’s not dysfunction—that’scriminalbehavior.
I read the concern in Zoey’s eyes. “Are you all right?”
I slowly shake my head. “Everything. And a headache.”
She rises up onto her toes and brushes a kiss across my lips. “I’ll get you some Excedrin.”
“Thanks, babe.”
I hug Katie extra long and hard before I go change clothes. I guess now it won’t matter if we tell Katie the truth, will it?
No more hiding in plain sight, no more weighing every word, every action.
No more double life.
No more.
I take a deep breath and stare at myself in the mirror over my dresser. This morning, Lucas and I had a great time stumbling around the woods. I could imagine us making trails through there for Katie and getting bikes, having fun exploring, making her a little play fort, or even a tree house.
Where we want to position the house is in a natural clearing where we’ll only have to remove three tall pine trees that would pose a danger to the house in a hurricane. We want to leave as much of the woods intact around us as possible. We saw evidence of deer, and heard plenty of birds, saw lots of squirrels.
The property is bordered on three sides by similarly-sized properties that each have one house and are surrounded by pasture for horses or cows. The area is zoned agricultural, which means lower property taxes, since the property is unimproved. That’s how Arlo and Zoey have managed to keep it for so long and pay the taxes on it every year. It was part of a larger property that was a tree farm, at one point, and there are still evenly planted rows of pine trees at the front of the property.
Once we build, it’ll make the taxes go up, but we’re talking about also maybe planting more trees to keep the agricultural definition. Or maybe even getting a couple of pet steers or something.
I felt blissfully happy this morning, even as we were stumbling through the palmetto underbrush, swatting at mosquitoes, and trying to map the property by using GPS and a runner’s tracking app Lucas downloaded so we could better visualize the placement of the house and show it to Zoey and Arlo tonight.
This was my son and I doing this, together.
It felt natural and easy and like life had finally got sick of kicking me around.
Just to be drop-kicked into hell. Briefly, yes, but…
The rebound has given me emotional whiplash I’m going to need some time to process.
I emerge from the bedroom just to find Zoey walking up. She grabs my hand and pulls me into our bedroom, closing and locking the door behind us.
See, that’s something else I’m still trying to get used to. Referring to the guest room as “my” room.
Not referring to the master bedroom as “ours.” Not around Katie.
Except…
Now it doesn’t matter.
Zoey pulls me into her arms and holds me tightly. I don’t realize I’m crying until she guides me over to the end of the bed and we both sit as she holds me, rocks me, softly soothes me.
My emotions are all over the place. “What am I supposed to tell her?” I whisper.
