I’m laughing even as my attorney’s receptionist answers the phone.
* * * *
Fortunately, my attorney can see us right away. I take Lucas with me, because he’s eager to roll up and start something with Jerilyn after that little show of hers. I start by showing Mike the video, which I’ve already downloaded a copy of to my phone so I have it on hand.
Because, let’s face it, it’s self-explanatory.
Then I e-mail Mike the Dropbox link so he can download it, too.
Mike looks grimly amused and glances at his watch. “I’m guessing you don’t care how much this costs?”
“Damn right, I don’t. As long as you’ll let me make payments.” Fortunately, we went to high school together and were friends back then. Arlo and Zoey know him, too. Zoey’s attorney works out of this same firm.
“Then I’ll file an emergency motion this afternoon to suspend the visitation agreement and keep Katie with you until we can get a hearing scheduled. Is Jerilyn still using the same attorney?”
I sit back in my chair. “Don’t know, don’t care. Her address and phone number are the same as from the divorce, though.”
Mike’s making notes. “You want full and primary custody, full child support?”
“Yep yep yep.”
“What are you willing to settle for?”
“Full custody, no or partial child support. Either way,shewill have to be responsible for getting Katie to and from California,ifI even let her take her there for a visit. She’ll have to pay for all of it, too. She’ll have to fly her ass here to Florida to do it, because I want a stipulation in there that she can’t fly Katie unaccompanied while she’s a minor.”
“Restraining order?”
I shrug. “You’re the attorney.” I point to Lucas. “Can we get one against her for Lucas, Cain, Arlo, and Zoey?”
He nods as he jots down notes. “We can certainly try. Not sure what the judge will do, but I’d say that’s pretty compelling evidence.”
“Good. Fuck her up twelve ways to Sunday. Load up the legal trebuchet and launch everything at her, including plague-infested bodies and the kitchen sink. I don’t just want a war—I want a fuckingapocalypse. I’mdonebeing nice. I want to be a pain in her fucking ass to the point she’s willing to paymeto go away and take Katie with me.”
“Excellent. There’s my boy. I wish you’d have let me done this to her in the first place. I told you back then with the income disparity that you could’ve quit working and demanded alimony, child support, and primary custody from her. Keep your phone on you. I’ll let you know what happens by end of day.”
Once we’re back in the car, I realize we haven’t yet looped Zoey and Arlo in on what’s going on.
It’s like Lucas can read my mind. “Mom and Arlo are going to flip out.” He grins. “I cannotwaitto watch Mom go off on her.”
“Yeah, let me handle telling them, bud. Please? We actually need to keep your mom from—”
My phone rings, and it’s Zoey.Crap. I answer. “Hey, sweetie. I—”
“I want that cunt’s scalp in my motherfucking hand so I can wipe my ass with it and shit in her skull.”
I’ve never heard her sound so…mean.
What does it say about me that I kinda like it, and now I’m fighting a chub?
I guess Lucas can hear her, because he starts laughing. “Hi, Mom,” he calls out.
“How’d you find out?” I ask.
“My Facebook PMs and text messages are blowing up in sympathetic outrage. The angry mob is stocking up on pitchforks and torches. We need to talk to our attorneys ASAP.”
“We’re actually in the parking lot now. We just talked to Mike. He’s filing an emergency motion for me.”
I hear her take a deep breath. “Okay. Good. So now what?”
