And, of course, things…developed.
I had already realized I was attracted to boys and girls, although I didn’t admit that to my parents. I had a hint Nolan was attracted to guys, because I’d catch him sneaking looks in the locker room when he thought I wasn’t looking.
That’s why I clicked into the gay porn section of the site. “That’s hot,” I said as I shoved my shorts down and started jerking off.
He joined me.
That led to me volunteering to jerk him off, if he’d jerk me off.
And things…progressed.
To the point that we weren’t talking about it, but we were damn sure looking for any excuse we could find to get time alone together.
By then, I realized that coming out to Nolan’s familyliterallywasn’t a safe option. So we kept this thing hidden, already planning on rooming together in college up in Tampa, where we were both planning to attend USF.
We both pretended to date girls to lay a false trail for both sets of parents, and it worked. They never suspected we were now fucking each other.
And had admitted we loved each other.
My fear eased once I was in college, although Nolan’s didn’t. He was still dependent upon his family for living expenses and tuition, whereas I had a scholarship. That meant I still kept our secret for Nolan, even though I was starting to expect he might break my heart.
When he’d try to date women, I’d get damned jealous and try to date, too.
Just for both of us to angrily fuck ourselves to exhaustion later in our room, tearfully apologizing and making up on the back end of it.
Maybe back then even if we had made a serious attempt to stay together and officially be an item it would’ve been so toxic that we couldn’t have survived as friends, much less lovers.
Not like today.
Not like now.
I once thought nothing could ever be better or more perfect than finally convincing Nolan I was his forever guy.
Until I met and married Zoey.
* * * *
Nolan ended up on Zoey’s other side last night after we cleaned up and returned to bed. He finally awakens before her about an hour after I do, while I’m lying there with my eyes closed and thinking about our plans for the new house. I know he’s awake because I hear the way his breathing changes, and how he stretches.
I smile. “Good morning,” I whisper. I open my eyes to see him watching me.
“Did that really happen yesterday?” he whispers.
“Yep. No backing out, either.”
He studies me for a moment. “I don’t want to back out,” he says. “Just keep reminding me ifshestarts trouble.”
He doesn’t need to clarify who he means. “What trouble is she going to start, Nol? There’s no reason to worry.”
“I don’t trust her. I can’t afford another court battle if she wants to get pissy.”
“Even more reason for you to be living here, with us. Because it’s more affordable that way.”
He reaches over Zoey, holding his hand out to me and waggling his fingers at me.
I lace mine through his and he gently squeezes. “Love you,” he whispers.
I smile. “Love you, too, whippersnapper.”
