Except in retrospect, if I hadn’t, I might have fared a lot worse than I did with custody. I was able to leverage a few things against Jerilyn in the divorce, like neither of us paying child support since we would have equal custody. If I hadn’t married her, she might have been able to get primary custody and soak me for child support. Since we were married, and she made more than I did, I could have rightfully gone after her for child support and alimony, and I didn’t, which helped me get her to agree to joint custody.
Not that I have a problem supporting my daughter. But the woman makes way more money than I do. She’s not hurting financially. Unfortunately, she dragged the divorce out as long as she could, too, costing me way more than she needed to.
She hadn’t expected me to agree to the divorce when she tossed the idea out there. I suppose she’d used it as a threat, thinking I’d cave and beg her to stay so she could rein me in more tightly. We’d been fighting nearly every day at that point, and I’d actually spent an entire weekend over at Arlo and Zoey’s.
Not sleeping with them,thattime, which is what I knew I really wanted. Besides, Lucas was home that weekend.
In my head, however, that stay marked the start of the end for me with Jerilyn. Where I knew we’d finally hit the downhill slide with no hope of recovery. Then came the final fight where she dropped theD-word, and I agreed and left. Arlo was out of town, but I ended up with Zoey.
I finally knew without a doubt it would never work with Jerilyn. That it had been doomed even before the start.
Mostly because my heart wanted Arlo and Zoey, and always would.
Not that Jerilyn knew that.
I’dnevertell her that.
At least, not until Katie’s eighteen.
Then Jerilyn can go fuck herself.
* * * *
We finish unloading the truck and now the house is a disaster. But part of that is because we start emptying the smallest bedroom of the four that’s been used as a home office and craft room. That takes less than an hour, because Zoey doesn’t give a crap what the rest of the house looks like as long as we start moving me—and Katie—in with them.
Zoey’s practically giddy.
I have to admit, it’s a great feeling, knowing she’s smiling because of the double whammy of having Lucas back and knowing Katie and I will be living there, too.
Then we head to the cell phone store, I help Zoey and Arlo decipher a new plan and phone line for Lucas, tweak their current phone and data plan so they’re getting a better deal and won’t incur overages by chewing through data, and we stop for lunch at a pizza place between the cell phone store and my apartment complex.
We’ve already told Caine the truth, and he’s promised to keep it a secret for us.
We’re taking up a corner booth, with Zoey seated between me and Arlo, and the boys on the other side of him. As we’re waiting for our pizzas, Caine and Lucas are looking through the new phone and tweaking settings, getting his apps installed, and Lucas is spreading the word to his friends what his new number is, and that he’s now living at Zoey’s.
I mean, living withus.
Thatis going to take a little getting used to.
“Thank you for buying me lunch, Mrs. B,” Caine says.
“You can call me Zoey, honey,” she says. It’s the third time I’ve heard her remind him of that today.
“Yes, ma’am. Sorry.”
“It’s the least we can do for all your help today.”
Although it’s painfully clear to me, from the loving look Caine gives Lucas, that he’d be here today and helping even if no food was offered.
He looks at Lucas the way Arlo always looked at me.
The way Arlostilllooks at me, and at Zoey.
The way she looks at both of us.
It’s got to be true love. I know it’s stupid to think two teenagers can know what love is at their age, but look at me and Arlo.
He knew.
Hell,Iknew, even if I was terrified to admit it and sometimes fought myself every step of the way about it.
That means I’m not about to be short-sighted enough to say they can’t last.
We sure as hell have. Because no matter how hard I tried to run away from the truth, Arlo—and Zoey—were always there waiting for me to return to them. They never had to chase me down, or manipulate me, or threaten me, either.
Their love has always called me back to them.
I’m done fighting it, and even now I realize the last thing I want to do is sleep in my apartment, alone, staring up at the ceiling with what feels like miles of empty bed on either side of me. I never sleep as well as I do when I’m with them.
Life is too damned shortnotto be with them.
