A few times, I have Declan make love to me. George lies there watching, waiting for his turn with the boy. Sometimes holding my hand or kissing me, depending on what I’m in the mood for with him.
I can’t let myself go too far with him yet, though.
You know, normally, I’d say this is a fucking crazy-assed plan. Especially when it’s the ass-end of election season, and we’re nearing the homestretch.
Take off a whole fucking weekend? Are you out of your goddamnedmind?
Except this weekend off was already built into the schedule. I know if we don’t do this and find our natural level, it’ll eventually rip all three of us apart at the seams. George’s election is a hollow win if we can’t settle this, because he’s likely to simply resign from office. He won’t have the heart to stay.
I need George, as much as I don’t want to admit it. Not just for the long game.
But because I love him. And I love Declan. I don’t want to lose him, either.
George needs both of us, and Declan needs…
Well, I’d say he needs both of us, but I’m pretty sure he could survive with only George, as much as it pains me to admit that. Not only did I do too damn good a job of pushing him and George together, I did too damn good a job insulating myself from weaknesses over the years.
Including doing too damn good a job of not letting Declan inside my defenses. The last time I let someone in, even when I knew better, bit me in the ass by marrying George.
Ironically, all Declan ever wanted was for me to let him in.
Wanted me towanthim.
Ididanddowant him. That was never the problem.
Hewas never the problem.
There was only so much I could reveal to him, though, without breaking my promise to my girl.
I also didn’t want to expose my own weakness, my soft, vulnerable emotional underbelly.
Or drive him away by revealing my darkest truths. I was afraid I might disgust him.
Despite his lust for revenge and his very dirty mind, you have to remember that my boy has a pure, sweet heart and soul. If his sister hadn’t been murdered, Declan wouldn’t want revenge for anything. I know he’s a cutthroat attorney, but part of that is due to my training, and part is due to his desire to be the best after all the shit he’d had heaped on him as a kid in school.
Doesn’t make him mean and cold at heart. It makes him focused and driven.
Friday morning, once George is on his way to work with the EPU detail, Declan and I prepare before we follow, riding together. George is actually going to spend the weekend with us at my house, not his.
He doesn’t know that yet, though. I want him totally jolted out of his comfort zone. And I don’t want to have to fuck around arranging stuff once he’s there at my house.
I can see the way George’s nervous tension builds throughout the afternoon, and that’s exactly what I want. I’ve already told him how tonight will go down and given him his instructions. He’ll be riding home by himself after the meet-and-greet, which will, hopefully, give him time to get deep inside his own head, so I can jolt him out of it. Then George will drive himself over to my house and present himself at my front door for the weekend. I’ve already warned EPU that George will be back and forth this weekend between my house and his with family stuff and campaign prep, so they won’t interrupt us.
When we head over to the meet-and-greet in my car, I warn my boy. “Alpha Declan tonight,” I tell him. “George will be our boy from the moment he sets foot inside my front door, and we’re keeping him in that mode until I finally release him on Sunday.”
He nods. “Yes, Ma’am.”
“Casey,” I tell him. “I’m Ma’am only to him this weekend, and you’ll be Sir.”
He stares at me, literally frozen, like a deer in the headlights. “What?”
“You heard me. You’re going to help me top him this weekend.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.”
“You can do it. Youwilldo it.”
He goes quiet for a moment. When we reach the parking for the event, he finally turns to me. “On one condition.”
