Chapter Thirty-Two
Tuesday — Election Day
I awake alone in my own bed on the morning of the general election with a vague feeling of dread settling within me.
Not because I think George is going to lose.
Because I know he’s going to win.
Winning means four more years of stress and hiding for Declan, of keeping this secret.
Of praying they aren’t discovered, and the resulting political fallout that would coat Declan with a slimy layer of shit as a result while likely leaving George relatively unscathed.
That’s not what’s best for my boy, obviously, but I can’t very well order him and George to split up. For starters, I might be a bitch, but I’m notthatkind of a bitch. Secondly, I don’twantto split them up.
Third?
Theyneedeach other. They really do.
I need them, too.
You havenoidea how much that terrifies the absolutefuckout of me, admitting that.
I needbothof them, together and stupid-happy, the way they are now. I need that sweet, pure light that shines from both of them when they’re with each other. Ineedit, like oxygen.
I need the reminder that for all those years, my girl was loved andshefeltthatstupid-happy with the motherfucker. That George absolutelyisa good man, sadistic needs aside.
That he would rather die than harm someone he loves.
That he would die to protect someone he loves.
That he includes me on the short-list of people he loves and considershis, lower-casehor not.
In George’s mind, I’m right up there with Declan and the kids and his brothers in terms of someone he’d burn everything to the ground to protect and defend.
I need the reminder there are good men in this world, men who aren’t monsters, and I’m blessed enough to have two of them in my life.
And that they love me.
Even though when you boil it all down, in this permutation, they are two good men, andI’mthe monster.
Do I dare risk that blowing back onto them?
Yeah, because George knows all about what a monster I am, and he still loves and wants me.
I opted to spend the night here because, for starters, I wanted some peace and quiet. Because it’s such a big day, Ryder, Logan, Aussie, Ashleigh, Chase, and Tyson are all staying at George’s so they can be there for him tonight at the election party.
Hopefully, it’ll be a celebration.
I think so, and so does Declan, but we don’t want to jinx it.
It’d be hard to explain why I’m sleeping in bed with them when I have a house right down the street, and that’s extra stress Declan and I don’t want on George right now.
Although he did offer to tell them.
I figure let them all spend more time with Declan as George’s significant other first before we add me to the mix.
Baby steps. Right?
