Chapter Four
Then
I don’t know who coined it, but there’s a saying that goes something like insanity is repeating the same action over and over again and expecting a different result.
I know within twelve months of George’s return that he’s not healing. Not through anything he’s told me, either.
Through what I see with my own eyes.
All due credit to the man, he put on a damned good front, at first. You’ve never seen a more dedicated father than George. With Aussie just turning seventeen and soon to graduate high school, he’s doing his damnedest to not only run the state, but be a father.
Maybe it’d be easier if Ryder and Logan were still at home and not away at college, I don’t know.
Declan is under standing orders from me to spend as much time at George’s as he reasonably can and report everything he sees when alone with George, whether at home or at work.
I know Declan is worried about George as both a friend and colleague, but Declan’s also worried aboutme. Because while Declan doesn’t know all the details, he knows Ellen was more to me than just my best friend.
Meaning Declan does his best to try to take care of me in any way that I’ll let him.
Which is fucking adorable and melts me, don’t get me wrong. Except I’m not the governor or the remaining parent to three kids who might be “adults” but who still need their dad.
George was lucky.Damnedlucky. I think part of him realizes that, but he’s still buried under mountains of pain he can’t even bring himself to process yet. He’s white-knuckling life and it’s taking a toll on him. I’m sure he’s not sleeping, because plenty of times I’ve logged into his alarm system and seen the motion detectors pick up movement inside the house when he should be asleep.
Plus, the bags and dark circles under his eyes are fuckingkillingme, man. Maybe people who don’t know him as well as I do are fooled by his smiles and his words, but I’m not.
This is a man still dying. His death was prolonged some by his rescue, but he’s slowly killing himself.
When Ellen died, so did a large part of who he was. Not only as husband and lover, but as Master and Owner. He is untethered from the one constant in his life, which always kept him calm and centered and able to relax.
Ironic, I know. The Doms are supposed to be the powerful ones, the protectors and leaders. And they are.
But just as a Dom is a submissive’s safe haven, the converse is true. Even with me, someone he’s literally known as long as he knew Ellen, someone he calls his best friend, George can’t let down some barriers with me. He feels he needs to put forth an image to the world that he’s this strong leader and father and that he’s still standing.
Except…he’s not.
Far from it.
I’ve tried approaching this from several subtle angles, and nothing I’ve done has penetrated that wall around him. If I can’t figure out how to break through or scale it, we’re going to lose him, sooner or later.
I’m betting on sooner.
I did consider making an outright pass at him, but that would only be a stopgap measure at best, because I’m not sure I can deal with him at that level right now. Not to mention the residual emotional carnage it would leave in our wake. Mainly, Declan.
I can’t do that to my boy. I love him too much.
But then one night, while I’m taking out my frustration on Declan with a spanking scene that will end with me using a strap-on on him, I get an idea.
It’s a motherfucking evil idea but, if I’m lucky, it’s a plan that might very well save George’s life.
Except it means sacrificing the one thing I never thought I’d have to lose—Declan.
The boy loves ass play, because I’ve trained him to enjoy it. That was one of the first things I did early on, mixing it with edging him, teaching him to beg for it and rewarding him handsomely when he did.
He’s no stranger to me feeding him his cum.
So I start mixing things up with him. Instead of fucking him right away, I start teaching him how to give a blowjob, how to deep-throat the dildo, coat it with his own cum as I’m rewarding him with a vibrating butt plug or stroking him with my foot. Or doing it to him with him tied up and stroking him with my hand while I hold a dildo in my hand and make him suck it.
I shake it up. Which, to be fair to the boy, is something I do a lot with him. Keeping him guessing keeps him alert and ready to respond. To him, this is just another version of that.
