I’d rather give myself a root canal without anesthetic, but I don’t saythatbecause I don’t want to hurt his feelings. “I have a lot of things to catch up on this weekend, but I’ll think about it. How about I spend tomorrow night with the two of you. Would that work?”
He looks up at me, and the beaming smile he gives me tells me so damned much. “I’d love that, Ma’am. I know Sir would, too.”
“Okay, then. No promises, but we’ll touch base late Sunday, and maybe I’ll come over and hang for a while then, too.”
His smile widens. “Thank you, Ma’am.”
I crook a finger at him to stand and pull him in for a hug. “Thank you for being patient with me.”
“I can be patient forever for you, Ma’am.”
That makes me feel guilty. I’d promised him he’d get to help with this.
Except I can’t let him.
Ireallycan’t.
I need him around for George, and what I’m doing will be risky enough. I can take only so many chances before it comes back to bite me in the ass. I don’t want Declan anywhere near the fallout zone if it comes to that.
Unfortunately, I know my boy. I suspect he’d try to plead guilty just to save me, if he thought it’d work.
All the more reason why I can’t let him know what I’m doing. I need him clueless.
I need him protected.
Because George needs him.
I kiss him and think about letting him take care of me, except it’s nearly eleven now, and I’m exhausted. I look up into his brown gaze. “Did you eat dinner?”
“Not yet, Ma’am. I’ll grab a bite when I’m home.”
That pang hits me harder than I was expecting it would.
Home.
That used to be here, with me, long ago. When I didn’t have to share him.
If I’m truly honest with myself, I was trying to use him to make Ellen jealous. At least, that was in the early days. Problem is, she was genuinely happy for me and Declan and hoped we’d get married someday.
The irony that her husband might very well be the one marrying him isn’t lost on me.
I pat him on the back. “I’m sure Sir is eagerly awaiting your return. You should go and eat.”
He stares down into my eyes. “Are you all right, Ma’am?”
I nod. “I’m fine. Just tired. I need a shower and a drink.”
“How’d we do tonight?”
“You’ll be happy to know we’ll probably have more than enough to run your whole wish list of ad buys.”
He smiles. “Excellent.”
“I thought so.”
I finally shoo him out the door a short time later and send him home to George. Do I want to spend more time with him tonight?
Of course I do.
Except…I need to decompress. I might be many things, but a cheat isn’t one of them. Since Declan and I have been together, other than the limited play with George, I haven’t been with anyonebutDeclan, despite my carefully cultivated public image.
If it wasn’t for the greater good being at stake—literally—I’d probably be puking my guts up now.
It’ll be worth it to know that fucker is in the ground, though.
Especially when I end up putting him there with my own two hands.
