All three kids nod. “Yeah,” Aussie says, her green gaze boring into mine. “We’re good.”
* * * *
We have a pleasant dinner, one of Ellen’s signature casseroles that Casey and Aussie put together. I mostly stay quiet, or so I think. At one point, I find myself waxing about poll numbers after Logan asked me a few campaign-related questions regarding polling methodology and interpretation. When I realize everyone else is watching me, I notice they all look amused.
George smiles and squeezes my hand. “See? Hecantalk when he’s distracted and not nervous as hell.”
I start hoping then that maybe this will be okay after all.
I’m coming out of the bathroom before we leave to find Logan standing there. When he motions me into his bedroom and shuts the door behind us, I’m determined to take whatever he wants to dish out.
But…he floors me with his quiet question. “Did he actually try to commit suicide? Or was he just really close to doing it? Because, honestly? After we saw him at Christmas, I figured it was only a matter of time before we lost him, too. I thought he was simply waiting for Aussie to hit eighteen.”
Stunned, I stare at him in wide-eyed shock. “I…” I feel torn between loyalty and honesty. These are hiskids.
But Logan’s an adult.
I opt for the answer that I hope will appease both him and his father.
And Ma’am. “Your dad went through hell. He was in alotof pain. Casey says she doesn’t think he started to truly begin the healing process until we got together. That between his grief, and his PTSD, he was stuck in survival mode and self-medicating with work to avoid dealing with his emotions. He wasn’t emotionally healthy, or happy. But now, he wants to live again. He’s starting to do the emotional work.”
Logan studies me for a long moment with his father’s intense blue gaze. Kid’s going to be a hell of an attorney, I just know it.
Eventually, he nods. “Okay.” He offers me a hug, and I accept it. “Please, talk to me if you think he’s…” He sucks in a sharp breath. “Please? Promise?”
“I promise.”
On the flight home, Aussie once again sits next to George. I know he wants to talk to me alone, but it’ll have to wait. He saw me and Logan emerge from the bedroom after our talk.
Once we’re back in Nashville, we still can’t talk because Aussie’s in the car with us. They’re going to drop me at the office, where I left my SUV, then they’re going to take Sir, Ma’am, and Aussie home. She’s spending the night at the house with George tonight, and the detail will give her a ride to school in the morning.
It’s nearly midnight now, and in the parking garage, Sir gets out to hug me.
“Are you coming over?” he whispers in my ear.
As much as I want to, I have a seven thirty meeting in the morning with a couple of Senate aides.
Plus, Aussie will be in the house. “I think it’s too soon with her home.”
“No, it’s not. It’s okay.”
I sigh. “I also have an early meeting, Sir. I have to be up in six hours. Ma’am will run your morning briefing. I don’t think tonight is the best night for it.”
Besides, I need some time to decompress from this evening, to process everything about how I was…ambushed.
Although I’m not going to say that to him.
I hate the disappointment in his eyes, but he pulls me in for another hug. “Love you, boy,” he whispers.
I close my eyes. “Love you, too, Sir.”
I get in my Jag and watch the detail head off. Then I drive home to my apartment, which isn’t far. I guess I could’ve ridden home with them and come in tomorrow morning with Casey, but…
We’d probably have another hour, at least, of sex. Then I’ll be running late in the morning with the sleepy octopus trying to keep me in bed.
My brain is scrambled, my nerves are shot, and it’s been three days since I’ve had a run. Despite the late hour, I change into sweats, activate my run tracker app, and head out with Godsmack and Mumford & Sons on shuffle.
#dontjudgeme
