Chapter Sixteen
Now
I hear the sink in Casey’s bathroom run while she’s actually humming to herself. I recognize it’s a song fromHamiltonbut I’m not sure which one. I think it might be “Helpless,” but I’m not sure.
Meanwhile, I keep Declan’s head clamped between my hands and hold his nose pressed against my abs while I savor the growing desperation in his brown eyes. He hasn’tgagged, or struggled, but he hasn’t figured out how to breathe during a blowjob, apparently.
Good. SomethingIcan teach him.
Something he’ll get very skilled at very quickly.
Because I’m diving through this doorway head-first without looking.
Self-destructive?
I’ll own it.
I don’t fuckingcare.
For the first time since I walked through my front door without Ellen by my side nearly twoyears ago, I feel…alive.
It’s a dark and ugly kind of vitality, my inner sadist screaming to do all sorts of dirty and perverted things to and with him, but I’ll take it.
It’s better than what I’ve been feeling.
It’s better than wishing to die.
I ease back just a hair and hear him suck in a deep, desperate breath, feel him blow it out again, warm against my skin.
And I shove my cock deepinto his throat before he can inhale, smiling down at him as I do.
“Oh,boy,” I whisper, my fingers tightening around the back of his head. “Areyouin for a ride tonight.”
I’m not even fucking his mouth right now. Holding still, I’m too busy savoring the sweet, wet heat surrounding my cock, the feel of his tongue pressing along the underside of it. I refuse to close my eyes because it’d betoo easy to picture Ellen, and I don’t want to do that in this moment.
I want tofeel.
The wind is gone, the screaming has fallen blessedly silent—Ineedthis.
That means I’m going to fuckingtakeit from him, whether he wants me to or not. Casey’s in charge of him, obviously. I’ll trust her judgment even though I admittedly do not trust my own in this moment.
I scratch the back of his headwith my fingers without releasing my grip on him or looking away from his gaze. “Good boy,” I whisper, and the sadist inside me is nearly orgasmic over this development.
He softly whimpers—anoh, goodiekind of whimper—and I ease back a little to let him take another breath.
Do I stop to think about any of this? Ramifications personal and professional?
Fuckno.
Casey returns from the bathroomand slides her panties off, dropping them to the floor. The sight transfixes me for a moment. She shaves her pussy and I don’t know why I never thought about her doing that. I mean, I guess because she’s my wife’s best friend. But Ellen always shaved, too. The bra stays on, but that’s even sexier, somehow.
She walks around the desk and snaps her fingers at me, then points at Declan’s ass. “Move,George. You can fuck him. Bottle of lube’s on the floor.”
I reluctantly pull my cock from his mouth and release his head after giving him another good-boy head scratch. The condom pouch is still on his back where she dropped it.
I grab it and walk around to the other end of the desk while Casey climbs up onto it, thighs spread, with Declan between them and now staring up at her with an expressionon his face akin to worship.
A flash of dark jealousy shoots through me and I don’t know its source or target. Am I jealous that he’s looking at her like that and not me? Or am I jealous she’s about to let him touch her instead of me?
