Chapter Thirteen
Now
As my Monday drags on, I feel the invisible band tightening in my gut. Declan ushers me through a congratulatory Skype session with a group of fifth graders from an elementary school in Memphis who’ve placed first in a national robotics competition. He stays out of view of the laptop’s camera and uses his tablet and a drawing program to jot down answersor suggestions for me when the kids ask me questions I don’t have ready answers for.
After that’s over, I have several phone calls to deal with, Declan also sitting in for those.
By four that afternoon, I am…exhausted. Except I can’t nap today. I still have too much on my plate to deal with—
i have to FLY to dc without casey
—and something inside me gives way while Case is going over tomorrow’spreliminary schedule with me.
“Why thefuckcan’t I just drive to DC? I don’tneedgoddamned security. Jesusfuck, Case. I’m a grown-ass adult. The conference will be safe. No one’s going to fuck with me there. Security around the hotel will be insane.”
I honestly didn’t realize the words were out of my mouth—out loud—until I saw the way Declan’s eyes widened like headlights on a semi.
Thankfully,it was only the three of us in the office, and the door was closed.
Case’s gaze narrows, dark and dangerous, and she doesn’t back down or look away from me. “Declan,stay.”
Behind Case, he’d been moving to stand. At her command he freezes momentarily before slowly lowering himself into his chair once more.
Under nearly any other circumstance I would’ve laughed. She didn’t even look at him toknow he’d been about to escape.
She keeps her voice low, dangerously so. “George, you are flying to DC. Declan is flying with you. He’ll have your medication with him. This is a done deal—the tickets are purchased. This isnotnegotiable. He is well aware of your issues surrounding flying. I have every confidence in him to take care of you for me. It’s time you take this step. We have to moveyou out of your comfort zone.”
I’m…shaking. Trembling.
I clasp my hands together and drop them into my lap under my desk before she can spot it.
Terror fills me, my pulse racing and my gut cinched into tight, painful knots. I shake my head.
She doesn’t back down. “You’re flying if I have to shove a pill wrapped in bacon down your throat like a dog and have the whole damn EPU team physicallycarry you onto the plane and strap you in. Do you understand me?”
My jaw remains tightly clenched as we remain there, locked in a battle of stares until, as I did earlier, I blink first and look away, barely nodding.
I recognize carrot-and-stick when I see it. She immediately straightens and rounds my desk to lean in and hug me. “George, I trust Dec,” she softly says, but loudly enough I knowhe can hear her, too. I look at him and he’s studiously going through his cell phone. “I know it’s not a good time of year for you, but we don’t control the timing. You need the political exposure this will give you. He’s going to take good care of you. I got you guys a two-room suite, so if you have a nightmare, he’ll be right there.”
Making myself vulnerable to someone else—anyone else—is almostas bad as the wind screaming in my brain.
“Youhaveto do this,” she adds. “Because you need to start gearing up for campaign mode, and you’re going to be flying a lot. I cannotgo with you on every trip. Youhaveto get used to Declan being with you. He’s going to be your body man again for the campaign. I wouldn’t have him this close to you if I didn’t trust him witheverything. I can’t waitany longer to start this process with you. If some fucking asshole files to run against you in the primary, it means flying even sooner.”
Declan glances up at me, then down again. He’s damned nervous—I can see it.
Logical George understands she’s right about this.
Logical George commends her for thinking about this and planning ahead.
Logical George thanks her for thinking about me first.
Lost George is about two breaths from a full-on tantrum that terrifies every other part of me.
Loss of control.
Who the fuck am I kidding? I don’t have any business being in this office. I can barely keep my mask in place, and I’m supposed to run an entire fuckingstate?
I can’t do this without Ellen. I need my girl.
