That’s what I tell myself.
Case told me it’s okay, and on more than one occasion I’ve smelled her using the same stuff Ellen used, too.
Like the day they flew me and two of the other survivors back to the States. We landed first at LAX, where a huge welcoming committee greeted us. After hugging my kids and my brother, Tyson,my next hug was Case.
I stood there holding her and I knew she’d used Ellen’s shampoo on purpose.
Dammit, I love this woman so fucking much. I’m positive she’s the only thing standing between me and utter madness.
Well, maybe not madness. I’m already there.
She’s the only thing standing between me and complete, irreparable self-destruction.
* * * *
After emerging from the shower, I textthe head of my security with an ETA of my departure time. The officer at the main gate will drive in and pick me up, then take me to work. It’s not uncommon for Casey to drive me home while being followed by an officer.
Since there are no credible threats against me, and rarely are, I can get away with only one officer right now, the driver. He’s uniformed, but drives an unmarked SUV. Casey andDeclan coordinate my schedule with them so they’ll know when I’ll need a ride. If I’m appearing at a public event, I frequently have a large security contingent, depending on the circumstances.
I’m the most powerful man in Tennessee right now and, most of the time, I feel like a fricking teenager grounded for missing curfew.
Except I don’t fight it, I don’t argue, I don’t overrule any of them,beyond asking for my privacy and negotiating down the number of officers surrounding me at home.
Mostly because doing so would mean having to fight even harder to keep the mask in place, and I don’t have the energy to do that. I know my limitations, and I’ve far exceeded them already.
When I emerge from the house, the officer is already sitting in his SUV and parked in the driveway. I lock thefront door behind me after activating the alarm. I’ve asked them not to get out and get the car door for me when we’re at my house. If they want to do it for protocol when we reach the capitol building, or at an event, whatever, but I need a little normalcy in my life.
Case will know I’m inbound, because my alarm system sends her an alert when it’s armed or disarmed, with the ID code of whoeverdisarmed or armed it.
It’s a cold, dreary, late-January morning, overcast. The heavy, dark clouds hanging low over the area threaten rain, and I can smell it in the air.
I prefer days like this, because they better match my usual default mood.
Despite this cold snap we’ve had an unusually warm, wet winter. Area lakes are overfull, creeks and streams are running higher than average, there’sbeen some minor flooding in usually dry areas, and we’ve had to deal with issues with roads and bridges washing out.
“Good morning, Dave,” I say as I fasten my seatbelt.
“Good morning, Governor Forrester.”
I ask him about his weekend, about his family, and that’s the extent of our conversation. My detail is good about not talking to me unless I seem to be in a talkative mood, especially firstthing in the morning. I pretend to flip through one of the binders of paperwork as I sip from my travel mug of coffee.
The truth is, I’m still trying to stabilize my governor’s mask for the day, make sure it’s firmly in place before I have to deal with people.
When I walk into my office, Casey literally enters just a couple of steps behind me and sets a fresh mug of coffee on my desk.
“Goodmorning, Governor Forrester.” All business this morning, Case doesn’t force a too-cheery smile on me. As always, she can tell I’m hanging on by my fingernails right now. Add in forced peopling while trying to intelligently brain regarding budget matters, and it’s already a recipe for disaster.
“Good morning, Casey.”
I’m the governor, so I can get away with referring to my staffers by their firstnames.
She takes my empty travel cup from me and passes it to Declan, who’d silently scooted into my office on Casey’s heels.
He’s spooky-good in that way.
He takes it into my private bathroom to wash it while Casey deals with me. I hand the binders off to Casey before I set my laptop bag in my chair and shed my overcoat. We have ninety minutes, give or take, before my meeting.
“What’s first?”I ask.
