Chapter Thirty
After the craziness of last night’s play, I know there will likely be a “discussion” with Casey, because…
Yeah.
Things kind of went off the rails.
I’m not even sure how or why, either. That’s what’s so…
Crazy.
It was like Declan and I fed off each other, a self-perpetuating cycle.
I came harder than I ever have in my life, and I know he did, too.
When hestarts to leave my bed before dawn Saturday morning, I grab his wrist and pull him back to me, kissing him, trying to make him stay. He gently untangles his body from mine, kisses me one more time, and promises he’ll return before the campaign fundraiser dinner the three of us are attending.
I finally go back to sleep with Declan’s pillow clutched in my arms and my face pressed to it, all whiletaking comfort in his promise and his scent.
I also feel relief that, for tonight, I’ll be able to sleep again.
So when I go downstairs that morning a little after nine because I’m smelling coffee, it’s because Casey’s sitting in my kitchen and drinking coffee while reading the paper, which I’m assuming is the one from my driveway.
She stands without speaking and pours me a mug, preparing it,handing it to me, still without a word.
“Thanks.”
No response, just a look I can’t decipher, one that throws me even more off-balance.
Shit. Declan stopped by her place when he left.
And I’m sure she asked him what we did.
I hope I haven’t somehow borked our friendship beyond redemption. I don’t knowwhatthe rest of this is between us. I’d like more with her.
Alotmore.
But I can’t pushher for that. I don’t feel right asking that of her, as weird as that sounds, beyond the comment I’ve already made to her letting her know I’m open to it. Not unless she volunteers it.
I’m…scared. Not of her, but of fucking up our friendship and losing her. She’s my last tangible connection to Ellen before my kids were born. There’s so much history that now only resides in our memories.
There’sa lot of history between Case and me, too, and it’s as friends first, work second. I’ve never felt like she workedforme. It’s always felt like we were partners, a team.
There’snothingsubmissive about Case. It’s not like with Declan, where he’s eager and willing to take whatever I dish out and begging me for more.
Which I have no hesitation about giving him, either.
I lean back against thecounter, the mug cupped in both my hands while trying not to stare her in the eyes.
She studies me for a long and uncomfortably silent moment.
Then I get the head tilt.
I blink and look away first. “What?” I ask. I feel like I’m about to be schooled.
Maybe I deserve it.
Okay, so there’s nomaybeabout it, but…
