I want to know I haven’t just fucked up my professional life beyond all recognition.
Or my friendship with her.
I cannotdo this without her.
Not just being the governor—I can’tlivewithout her.
I wouldnotstill be alive if it weren’t for her. I would’ve killed myself long before now.
I send Declan upstairs to my bedroom while I go all the way down tomy home office in the basement to await her call.
It comes four minutes and thirty-nine seconds later.
I answer, and she doesn’t even wait to see if I’m going to say anything. Her voice sounds low and dark and dangerous and makes my guts shrivel, because I know that tone.
This is a dangerous woman who will burn everything to the ground just to prove her point, and I know she will.
“Let metell you something. I told you bothnoplay in the office. I overlooked the petty bullshit of you marking him, because I didn’t tell you that was off-limits, but I knowdamnwellwhyyou marked him like that. He is a loaner. He ismine. He will not lie to me, and he will not keep things from me. Also,fuckyou and your rule that I don’t get to make him come without your permission.Youdon’t getto make those kinds of rules with him. You would do well to remember that.”
“Case—”
“No,shush.I’mtalking. You can play with him. Fuck his brains out, let him blow you. Stripe his ass, whatever. Have fun. While you do, remember that he isnotyours—he’smine. And you’d betternotforget that in the future. I’m willing to share him because it’s helping you. Butneveragain forgetIcontroland own him.
“Also, do noteverforget I could easily be making half a mil a year right now at the law firm. Probably a lot more. I took amassivefucking pay cut to work for you. I’myourchief of staff because I love you and I loved her. Sopickone, George. Me, or your petty, possessive bullshit games.Rightnow.Pick.”
It’s a no-brainer. “You,” I immediately whisper.
She takes a deep breath,her tone immediately calming, gentling. “We have us an understanding?”
I’m still…processing. “Yes.” Then I have to ask it. “Whyhim?”
I hear the confusion in her voice. “Why him what?”
“You go through guys all the time. Whyhim? Why are you dying on this hill with him? How many guys a year do you go out with, and you have to havehim, too?”
She doesn’t answer at first. “That’s a question foranother time,” she says, but she sounds…sad. “Why areyouwilling to be an asshole about him, and risk nuking our friendship, when you’ve never been into guys before now?”
“Because he makes the screams and the wind go away.” I break down crying. “He’s the first thing since then that makes the sound of the screaming and the wind go away, Case. I actually can fallasleepwith him, andstayasleep,and he makes the noises go away. This is the first time in twofuckingyears I haven’t had the wind screaming in my head all the time.”
“Shh, honey, calm down. It’s okay.”
But I’m crying, and now the wind’s back with a vengeance. “I was going to kill myself, Case. I really was. I’ve been trying to figure it out. I thought I’d be stuck hearing that for the rest of my life, and he makes it goaway…”
She finally gets me calmed down a few minutes later. “Honey, it’s okay. Look, I just…” She sighs. “He can spend all weekend with you, okay? Until Monday morning. Just let me have a little fun with him when I stop by tonight after I’m done here. All right? Is that a fair trade? You can even watch us, if you want. Hell, you can join in and play with him while I do my thing with him. ThenI’ll go home, and he’s all yours.”
I hate I feel so fucking…weakright now. “Really?”
“Really.” She sighs. “If I tell you where the key is, will youpleaseleave him locked up until I get there? Then I’ll unlock him, have my fun, and he’s all yours for the rest of the weekend. Deal?”
I fumble a tissue out of the box of them on my desk. “Yeah,” I say. “Deal.”
I hear her talk to someone, theprofessional, practiced smile in her voice, and to me she says, “Hold on.” The phone is muffled for a moment as she’s talking to someone, then she comes back on the line. “Where are your keys?”
“My keys?”
“Your house keys. Where are they?”
I pat my pockets and pull them out. “In my hand.”
