I lay my head on the bed, as close to his as I can without disturbing IV lines or monitor leads.
Aerosmith, Rolling Stones, Imagine Dragons, Pearl Jam, and Queen make up a good chunk of this playlist. As the minutes tick past, I think I’m doing okay.
Until “Love of My Life” by Queen starts playing.
Oh, fuck.
Memories slam into me—that last night so long ago, our firstnight reunited.
Our wedding night.
I close my eyes. The tears I’ve been holding back by sheer force of will burst through with a vengeance. It’s too much. The possibility of losing him, especially like this, shreds me.
I’ll give up everything we’ve achieved, in a heartbeat, if it means he’ll be okay.
Something brushes against my free hand. When I look, it’s John, trying to hand me a coupleof tissues. He holds the box in his other hand and wears a grim expression.
“Thanks,” I manage. Not releasing Kev’s hand, I blow my nose and settle in again.
But after a moment, I’m aware that John isn’t moving away to give me space.
“I’m okay,” I lie.
He pokes me in the shoulder, and I’m about to order him to leave me alone when I realize he’s not looking atme.
Jolted into realization,I sit up to find Kev’s eyes barely cracked open and staring at me.
I guess thewhoopI let out scares the nurse, because she bolts into the room, slamming the door into Ted’s back, where he was standing against it. He turns and is in the process of drawing when he realizes it’s her.
I squeeze Kev’s hand hard, not giving a damn who sees me cry.
Standing, I lean in and press a kiss to his forehead.“Good boy,” I whisper. “I love you so fucking much.”
He slowly blinks, his gaze full of confusion and pain and the cloud of damned good pharmaceuticals, but yeah, he’sthere.
I reluctantly step back so she can check his vital signs. The doctor comes running in, too, and after a few minutes, he nods.
“This is a good sign, Mr. Bruunt,” he says. “We still need to watch out for infection, but thisis good.”
“How long does he have to stay on the ventilator?” I focus my attention on Kev, whose gaze searches for me if he can’t see me.
“I’ll consult with the surgeon and we’ll likely be removing him from it in a few hours. We’ll need to restrain his hands, though, so he doesn’t pull the tube out himself.”
I somehow manage not to burst out laughing at that news. “Whatever needs to happen.”
“Eh, you should go home.”
I finally pry my gaze from Kev’s blue eyes and stare at the doctor. “No.”
After they affix the restraints to Kev’s wrists, the nurse and doctor clear out for a few minutes. I grab my personal phone so I can text Shae.
Call me.
She either couldn’t sleep, or had the phone under her head or something, because my phone rings seconds later.
“Is he okay?”
“Talk tohim. He’s intubated and groggy, but his eyes are open. He won’t be able to speak to you.” Kev’s gaze follows my hand as I reach in with the phone and hold it against his ear. Because I’m so close, I can hear her, and if the other guys can, too, they pretend they can’t.
