Chapter Nine
I don’t sleep.
At one point, I get up, quietly gather all the papers and neatly stack them on our dresser, turn off the lights, strip, set my phone alarm to let me know when we need to get up, and return to bed to hold him.
I knew Lauren still loved him, but I thought it was deep friendship. Hisbestfriend.
She obviously didn’t know the truth about Shae.
Optics.
Prophet is a genius.
I’m not sure if he should go into work today. Work is a salve for him, and maybe in an unhealthy way. Perhaps I should clear my schedule and stay here with him today.
Except time is short, and yes, we do have a campaign to win. Poll numbers are excellent—thanks in no small part to the sympathy factor—but that’s not a guaranteed win.
He stirs in my arms at some point beforethe alarm goes off, realizes I’m holding him, and nuzzles his face against my shoulder.
That’s when he bites me. Not a playful nip, but latching on to the inside of my upper pec in a way I recognize.
I run my hand down his back, to his ass, and grab a handful of flesh and dig my nails in, hard. The muffled gasping cry hardens my cock—and his.
My other hand settles on the back of his head, fingersthreading through his hair and holding him in place so I don’t accidentally dislodge him. I roll onto my back and he comes with me. I rake my nails up his back, likely close to breaking the skin and making him softly growl.
When my boy’s emotional pain is deepest, sometimes he needs a reminder that I’m here and not going anywhere. Not the full-on sadist Shae needs, but the softer version.
Iblindly grope for the nightstand, finally get my hand on the drawer to pull it open, and find the lube. One-handed, I flick the cap open and squeeze it over the seam of his ass. Discarding the bottle, I run my fingers down to his rim, pressing two in and making him grunt against my pec, where he’s still biting down.
I reach between us, find my cock, and he spreads his thighs and angles himself.While I hold the base of my cock he wiggles his hips and then shoves himself onto me with another grunt that nearly makes me come just like that. We don’t usually fuck bare like this without a little prep first, but just like Shae needed her Sir to mark her the other night, I think Kev needs me to mark him.
I kiss his temple. “That’s my good boy,” I whisper. “Take what you need, baby. It’s yours.”
He finally releases his bite and rises up to kiss me, his hands braced on my shoulders as he rides me like a man possessed. I run my hands up and down his thighs, pinching, scratching, tugging his nipples and leaving marks on his sides.
Kev pants, gasps for breath but doesn’t break our kiss. I don’t know exactly what he needs right now, what this is for him, but I meant it—it’s his. It’s allhis, everything I am and have, I will give it to him.
Maybe I screwed up. Maybe I should have approached him instead of waiting and then, later, seething. I was young and stupid and thought he needed to put forth the effort.
I never knew his true level of fear.
Had I done that, he would have been mine, Lauren would have been free to find someone, and he wouldn’t be saddled with guilt and painand loss.
We wouldn’t have to hide who we are to each other.
He slows his thrusts, a different rhythm, and I realize what he’s trying to do. He’s short-stroking, trying to find the sweet spot, but he’s never managed it like this, in this position. Like this, he always needs an assist.
We’ll need to wash the sheets in the morning, and I don’t even fucking care. I flip him over onto his backwithout pulling out. He wraps himself around me as I brace myself on the bed and basically start over, holding myself back and working to build him up.
I kiss him while I do, biting, sucking, our faces rasping together. We might end up with swollen lips by morning and I really don’t give a shit about that optic.
I care about my boy’s heart, his soul.
About taking away his bad pain.
I liftmy head and stare into his eyes. “My sweet, perfect boy,” I softly coo. “I want to feel you come for me, baby.” I say that and more, every trick in my book to drive him hard and deep into subspace, where it’s easiest for him to let go to me like this.
It takes a while. To the point I’m not sure I’m even going to make it, because I’m exhausted. Who needs a fucking workout—this is damned cardio.
