“No. Doesn’t work like that.”
“Wait. I thought that’s how it works with us?”
He sets his fork down to give me his undivided attention. “Work is work. Will I give you some orders that overlap work but won’t interfere with it? Yes. But one of the reasons what Shae and I have has worked for so long is because work comesfirst. She has a lot to lose, and so do I.” He picksup his fork again. “Besides, she’s just my submissive. She hasn’t given me that kind of control over her.”
It leaves me feeling a little confused, but I don’t want to derail what has been, so far, a beautiful day. We watched the parade on TV, we cooked together.
We made love.
I decide to shelve the conversation, because I’ve wasted enough time in our lives. I don’t want to waste a moment ofthis precious time together.
* * * *
It’s the next Thursday night at dinner when Christopher presents the ask. He showed me how to pan fry steaks, a private celebratory dinner before tomorrow begins our descent into political madness.
I’m hesitant to leave this cocoon.
We eat sitting on my couch, with the TV on and me sitting on the floor, naked, next to his feet. Chris prefers me that wayany time it’s feasible, and it’s now a standing order.
I enjoy doing it. I love resting my head against his leg and feeling his hand settle on the top of my head.
Early tomorrow morning, we fly out to Dulles. He’s already booked our flight.
During these two weeks, I’ve laughed, cried, bit back screams of pain, and begged for more of it.
These two weeks have proven to me that week wasn’t afluke, it wasn’t just a one-off.
It was real.
And during these two weeks, Christopher has allowed a little of the sadist’s mask to slip enough to prove to me that our separation was as hard on him—or harder—than it was on me.
“We need to talk,” he quietly says.
I know this is the ask he mentioned that first night. I look up from where I’m sitting, waiting for his next words.
“I want you forlife,” he continues. “No matter what public forms that has to take to protect what we have. I’ll spend the rest of our lives together protecting you, loving you, taking care of you. Again, no matter what public forms that has to take. But I ask a few things in return, and they are not negotiable.
“You belong to me. You have work, obviously, but all other aspects of your life belong to me. I won’tdeny you friends. I won’t forbid you from spending time with your ex as friends. This means if I tell you to wear something, you wear it. If I tell you to do something, you do it. If I give you an order, or tell you something will be done a certain way, there is no negotiation. You also lose control of orgasms from this point on. If I tell you no, then it’s no. No masturbating without permission.I do promise I won’t be an asshole in that regard, but there will be times I withhold orgasms for punishment, or just because I’m a sadist. You also don’t get to tell me no for sex. If I want your body, you give it to me unless there’s a physical harm issue. You can tell me something will interfere with work, and I will adjust accordingly. There are no other exceptions—work, or physical harm.I might make new rules, or change existing ones atmywhim.
“Being with me means accepting unconditionally thatIam in absolute charge, and willfully disobeying or refusing mewillresult in punishment. You belong to me, my slave, and when we’re alone, or even when we’re not and it’s safe, you will call me ‘Sir.’
“This means you don’t argue with me, you don’t get to ‘safeword,’ unless somethingin our play is physically harming you, or it will negatively impact your job. Other than friends, there will be no one else besides you in my life but Shae, and those circumstances are limited by my schedule and hers, and will not interfere with the relationship you and I have. There’s no negotiating on that point, either. If she ever decides she’s done with this, there will be no one but you.Or if I decide that I can’t continue my relationship with her, that’s it, no others. Friends are outside of that restriction. Questions?”
I realize I’m on deck. I need a moment to process. “What if I ask you to spend time with me but then you make plans with her?”
“Scheduling will be flexible, and has to be. You know what a politician’s life is like. I will do my best to work around plans thatwe make. But over the next two years, what you and I have will be very…low-key, in public. I can’t retire until I’m fifty. Then I can get my pension.”
“What about after the election?”
“I told you, I can’t make specific plans for you because I can’t predict the future. The only constant is that you belong to me, and there will be no one in my life but you, and Shae, if she still wants to be inmy life like that.”
There still hasn’t been a specific…ask.
It takes me a moment to digest everything. “So what’s the question?”
He sets his plate aside on the coffee table and slides to the floor next to me, on my right. From the tone of his voice to the fear in his eyes, I know he’s stripped himself emotionally bare in this moment.
“Iwilltake care of you, Kev. Iwilllove you. Iwillprotectyou. And youwillbe first in my heart, maybe the only one in my heart, if Shea leaves. I will ask everything of you, and I demand unquestioning obedience. If you can’t give me that, for life, then don’t tell me you can. These two weeks have shown me I absolutely still love you, and I cannot lose you again. But twenty-plus years have left me changed. The question is, can you accept all of thoseconditions, andme, as I amrightthis minute, for life? If you can, if your answer is yes, then you have to ask me to make you mine. I’ll give you until—”
