We ask Benchley and Michelle to wait until daylight, at least, to come over, that we’ll hold off posting any pictures or releasing official statements until they’ve met their grandson, and they finally agree. I’ll Skype with mine once it’s daylight and I know they’re awake.
We haven’t decided how to handle Owen’s parents yet. They’ll drive up tomorrow, because Susa and I are like adopted kids to them, but I’m leaving the decision to tell them the full truth up to Owen.
I actually hope he does, because I think it would help his soul to have someone else besides Dray and Gregory who knows this secret. I know they wouldn’t tell.
I would tell Benchley if I didn’t honestly worry he might use it against me somehow.
As the craziness dies down over the next hour or so, and Dray and Gregory leave, it’s finally just the four of us for a few minutes. Susa’s been holding Petey and trying to get me to hold him, but I waited.
I wearily drag myself to my feet and get my cell phone ready. My lie about my pain levels really isn’t a lie anymore, but I’m not going to complain considering Susa just pushed a seven-pound five-ounce baby out of her body, and, oh yeah, survived a fuckingplane crash.
“Owen,” I quietly say, “hold your son.”
I won’t get many chances to say things like that to him.
Ineedfor him to havethis. Ineeda few things to be firsts forhim,notme.
There will be another goddamned media circus surrounding us for a while.
I need my boy’s soul soothednow, while I can.
I need to puthimfirst.
Ineedto know he’s going to be okay, because I won’t hesitate to sacrifice everything to make sure he is, even if it means publicly revealing the truth about Petey’s parentage to heal Owen’s spirit.
I can now addfatherto the list of things I am, but Owen is stillmine.
I need him to understand that does not change, and never will change.
Susa hands Petey off to Owen, and I take pictures, then switch to video. “Welcome to the world, Peter Benchley Taylor Wilson. Smile for Daddy, Petey.”
Owen’s blinking back tears as he stares down at his son. “Hey, buddy,” he whispers. “Welcome to the world. Love you so much.”
Sure, we’ll take some public-friendly video later of “Uncle Owen” holding him, but like I said, this is forus. Forourfamily.
As much as we can behind closed doors, our son will know Owen as one of his fathers, not as “just” an uncle, like one of our brothers.
And you can better believe that, from this day forward, I will make sure Owen gets to spend at least a little time with him every day, as long as he’s in town. Because this is a dream come true for me, too. A day I never thought I’d ever see.
I had no idea how much Ineededthis miracle until he was here, with us, in the flesh.
To see my boy holdingourson.
I feel like I can finally take a deep breath again. Like maybe the bastard and Sarge can finally…go away. At least for now.
I end the video and walk around the bed so I can stand between Owen and Susa and take a selfie of the four of us together. Then I take one of me and Owen, our heads together and staring at our son.
And Susa smiles as she takes the phone from me and snaps a picture of me kissing my boy as he holds our son. I do the same for her.
I know I will spend hours privately smiling over these pictures, and will turn to them when alone, especially if I have to be away from Tallahassee.
These pictures will always remind me of what’s important.
Ofwho’simportant.
For the first time in my adult life, I finally understand what inner peace feels like.
Chapter Eleven
