I do, sitting across his lap, my arms draped around his neck.
He still hasn’t answered me, but he’s staring into my eyes. “What if, in the process of negotiations, he asks me to do something like that? What if he asks me for a CNC or takedown scene?” His hand comes to rest on my thigh, but it remains still. He’s not trying to distract me or seduce me. This is serious Carter now.
“Asks-asks, or you manipulate him into begging for it?”
“Asks-asks.”
I try to think about that, about the way I love and thrive on this, and I honestly can’t picture Owen begging for that kind of fear.
If anything, Owen would beg for peace.
“How about you promise that you won’t do a scene like that with him, that will cause the bad kind of fear in him, or deliberately do anything totryto trigger the bad kind of fear in him, without bringing it to me first? I get to talk to him about it, andIget to be the one who decides if it’s go or no-go. Including I get to decide if I want to be there to watch and stop it. I get to override it. And that if you find something you’re doing with him is triggering bad fear in him, you promise to stop immediately and soothe him.”
He studies me for at least a minute as he turns it over his mind. Finally, he nods. “Fair enough, pet. I’ll agree to that rule. I will never try to deliberately trigger the bad kind of fear in him, through a scene, or otherwise, and will stop if that happens. Even if he asks, I’ll bring it to you to hear, and you get the final ruling. Period. I’ll even go one better, that I will always give you safeword rights if you think he’s being triggered with the bad kind of fear during a scene. I’ll let you safeword for him, so we can talk.”
I don’t know why I start crying, but he holds me close as I do. “Thank you, Carter.”
He slowly and gently rocks me in his arms. “You’re welcome, Suse. Thank you for loving him.”
I guess I do really love Owen as more than just a friend.
The way I love Carter.
I nestle my head on his shoulder. “I don’t need a trial period,” I say. “Let’s get married.”
He stops rocking me. “You sure?”
“I’m sure. I know we’re bending the truth around Owen, but it’s for good reasons. I can see how you love him. You fucking used your body as a human shield to save your guys. If I can’t trust you, I shouldn’t be sucking your cock, or have given you a key to my house.”
I sit up and cradle his face in my hands. “Iwantthis. I wantus, thethreeof us, for life. I wantyou.”
He’s looking into my eyes again. Another long, quiet moment follows before he speaks. “Ask me properly, pet.”
I turn and straddle his lap, my arms draped around his neck, my forehead pressed against his. His hands settle on my ass, lightly stroking.
“Sir, I want to be your wife, and I want to submit to you as your slave. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and Owen, and I want to own him with you, and I want to be owned by you.”
He doesn’t answer me, at first, but I hear the way his breathing changes, faster, harder. Feel the way his fingers tense on my flesh.
Then he lets go of me, unfastens his shorts, and pulls out his cock.
I’m already wet and reaching for him, rising up a little so I can settle on his cock, both of us moaning as he fists my hair and wekiss.
Wekiss, and wefuck.
It starts out a slow, deep grind, his other hand kneading my ass as I ride him and find the perfect angle to get over. When I find it, I rock harder, working it, chasing it and needing it more than anything now.
I’ve never come just from a guy fucking me—ever.
And he knows this, because I don’t lie to him. Despite the fiction we spin for Owen, I know Carter isn’t lying to me. He doesn’t have to. We accept each other at our darkest levels without shame.
My fingers dig into the back of his neck as I crest and fall, gasping as it bursts inside me.
“Good girl,” he says against my lips. “Do it again.”
And I do. After the second time, which takes longer, his hands grab my hips, fingers digging in with the good bite of pain as his gaze turns hard.
Iwantit. I wantallof it, and all ofHim.
