“I don’t know how to process intimacy, and I have no idea how to have a relationship with someone.”
Carter strokes my hair. “It’s okay, boy. We’ll work on things together.”
* * * *
During the rest of the afternoon, I remain naked except for the cuffs, leather collar, and chain collar. Carter sheds his shirt but keeps his shorts on. He has me put down a towel to sit on the couch with him, but…
Yeah. He was absolutely right about the fact that being naked feels comfortable now. I’m no longer feeling self-conscious about it.
Some studying was done, mostly by Carter. He tried to help me by quizzing me on material, but I’m not sure any of it stuck. My brain is swirling with a mix of things new and old, the realization that many—okay,most—of my fantasies will actually come true, and not only is my best friend not horrified at me over them, he’s going to be the primary person to help me realize them, and more.
My…Dominant.
After recognizing my brain isdonefor the day, Carter takes pity on me and has me start dinner, and that’s when the drinking starts. Late that evening, we’re both deep in the bag and have almost completely emptied the two growlers Carter bought the evening before.
I also now sport several marks across my ass from the riding crops, the dowel, and the piece of irrigation pipe—which packs a wicked punch.
After eating dinner on the couch and cleaning up the dishes, I’m back on the couch again. This time, Carter has me lie with my head in his lap as we watch TV, and he strokes my hair in that delicious way that sends my brain spinning off again, even without the help of the alcohol.
I feel…
I feelcherished.
Like a cherished pet, but still, cherished.
I’ll take it, soak up every ounce of it, because literally for the first time in my life I feelwanted.
I cannot begin to express how addictive that sensation is.
Carter has me keep the cuffs and collar on when we go to bed, and he changes into boxers. I kneel at the side of the bed in Devotion as he’d told me to earlier, and I earn a good boy and a head rub for remembering and not needing to be reminded, even as drunk as I am.
“Up. In bed.”
I’m not exactly sure on what side of the bed I’m supposed to sleep, but he opens his arms to me to snuggle against his side.
Of course I go, and yeah, I completely own that it makes me needy and clingy. But lying there with him and knowing nothing is expected of me is…
It’s something I don’t want to lose. I also realize once we’re back at the dorm I won’t have this anymore, because of the size of our bunks, and that makes me sad.
“What if Susa freaks out, Sir?” I ask in the darkness.
He nuzzles the top of my head. “She won’t. That’s not a worry you need to have. Sir will take care of that.”
Maybe Susa will want to snuggle in bed with her pet from time to time.
I can only hope.
* * * *
At some point in the night, I awaken to realize we’ve rolled apart in our sleep. I’m lying on my right side, and I can’t feel Carter.
When I hear the noise again, what must have awakened me in the first place, I immediately pinpoint the source—Carter.
He’s having a nightmare, and it sounds bad.
Without thinking, I roll over and seek him out in the darkness, drawing him into my arms. “Sir, it’s okay. Wake up. I’m right here. It’s just a nightmare.”
I feel him start awake, his body tensing before silent sobs leave him trembling in my arms.
