Deliberately baring myself to someone. Hell, I barely let the three girls I slept with see me naked.
Carter sits back, his fingers laced behind his head, waiting.
I don’t even know whattosay.
I do not want to sayfuck this shitand turn and walk away. Hell, last night I jerked off while lying in bed next to him. The fact that I was drunk is besides the point—I trust him. Not like he hasn’t seen me naked already.
With my cheeks flaming hot, I push my shorts down and step out of them. When I straighten, my instinct is to stand there with my hands covering myself.
Carter doesn’t move. “Hands at your sides, boy.” His tone remains calm, softly firm.
I didn’t think it was possible to blush this hard and not pass out from a stroke or something. Somehow, I make myself obey and stand there in front of him.
His gaze is focused on mine. “You aren’t the first guy I’ve seen naked, Owen.” His tone still sounds gentle, friendly. “You’re going to be amazed how quickly you’ll get used to being naked, and how weird it’ll feel when you aren’t.”
“You said my name. Does that mean we’re…done?”
He smiles. “No. It means if you want to ask me why I’m stripping you, go ahead.”
I take a deep breath. “Why, Sir?”
“The goal is for you to learn to focus only on what I tell you to, regardless of distractions. To focus onme. Whether you’re kneeling in front of me when we’re alone, like we are now, or we’re in the middle of a crowded store and I need your attention. I want you able to tune out everything except what I tell you to focus on, which usually means me. It also means forcing you to get rid of feeling self-conscious, and this is the easiest way to do that. That also means conditioning you in a variety of ways. Besides, I can’t spank you if you’ve got clothes on. I mean, Ican, but it’s a lot more fun without them in the way. Questions?”
Yeah, a fuck-ton of them, but I shake my head and hope many of them will be answered along the way.
“Another rule is that I now control your orgasms.”
“What?”
He hasn’t moved, still sitting there with his hands laced behind his head, but he arches that eyebrow at me again.
“What, Sir?” I repeat.
“It’s about control. This isn’t some fraternity pledge-week game. This is long-term, and I’ll teach you self-discipline, self-confidence, and show you that you can do anything you put your mind to. You’ll learn to push yourself harder than you ever have before, and take pride in your accomplishments. I’ll reward you, I’ll punish you, sometimes both at the same time. What do you have to lose? But riddle me this—think about all that you stand to gain, hmm?”
Okay, so most of my fantasies feature Susa taking control of me like this.
I nod, unable to say it.
“Are you agreeing to that term, to me controlling your orgasms?”
I nod.
Carter forces the issue. “Sayit, boy.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“No. Say, ‘I want you to have control of my orgasms, Sir.’”
“You’re a bastard.” That pops out before I can stop it.
Except Carter laughs. “Not the worst I’ve been called, boy. Not the worst you’ll call me, either. And not the first time I’ve been called that. I’mabsolutelya bastard, and I’ll proudly admit it.” His expression hardens. “Now,sayit, or say my name and put an end to this. Your choice.”
Part of me wants to say his name and end this madness right now.
A bigger part of me is dragging the rest of me over the edge of the precipice, toward him, wanting this.
Wantingallof it, because for the first time in my life it’s somethingIwant, and it’s within my grasp.
